Bisexual or not?

Lord forgive me for being the snake selling the apple

Well, there an accurate analogy (?)

I wasn't aware there were clubs like Jacks. I did find the idea somewhat of a temptation and looked these Jacks clubs up. Apparently they're all over the place. Not someplace I'll be frequenting, though. Not trying to judge, but the whole concept just doesn't seem "right".

But, thanks for sharing. It's helpful to explore my boundaries!

Well, there are a few things I can think of to take the edge off things, that I always hesitate a little, before I throw them out there. Is it not seeming 'right' because it's sexual activity with Not Your Wife, or is it too 'gay'? Or too overwheming (too many men)? Does seem to me that if someone's just feeling a little exploratory, might be more comfortable with a trusted friend.

I'm the kind I don't think I could ever do that, not while I'm with someone. I'm too loyal. Couldn't go out purposely on the DL anyway. If I had a guy friend and it turned out we were both interested in 'exploring', well, I don't know. That might be temptation I couldn't resist.

As an interesting aside- keeping in mind I've been, whether I admitted it to myself or not in my youth, pretty much always been interested in the same sex at least since puberty- as a teenager, I had this bestie that we didn't have sex? but we were awful 'gay' at each other at times. As a teenager, I had this very juvenile and selfish notion of having a sexual relationship with him (or another fellow) on the side, while having the wifey/house/2.5 kids/two car garage Suburbia thing. Seems to me I just described Brokeback Mountain without the cows. Or the tire irons.

Not a thing the adult me would consider, although I admit that's something that could be stretched to the breaking point, if opportunity ran a red light and t-boned me. Unlikely, so not a worry.

Back to the Jacks, yeah short of a men-only camp, or a bathhouse, or a Jacks club- the Jacks club being the safest, biohazard-wise, I'm not sure how you manage to check out nekkie menfolk otherwise, without being at the very least, glared at. I mean I know DL stuff goes on in like locker rooms and such, but that seems to be a delicate ballet dance that I wouldn't have the balls for.

I suppose you and the Missus could pack up and move to The Villages (assuming you don't already live there, ha). Get you a golf cart and put your little different colored shower poofs on the roof. Yeah, have a feeling that would go down with her about as well as it'd go with my Snagina. Like a ton of rocks- little tiny ones made of lead. I'm just being silly at this point. Still, damn wouldn't that be something to put on a bucket list- move to The Villages and advertise your kinks on your minivan. Must be nice, that's all I can say. Must be nice.

First of all, Snaga, thanks for that link to the article on the "lavender loofahs" at the Villages. Gave me quite a chuckle.

Is it not seeming 'right' because it's sexual activity with Not Your Wife, or is it too 'gay'? Or too overwheming (too many men)?

Yes to the first one but no to the other two. The truth is (TRIGGER WARNING) I'm actually a faithful, church going Catholic. Yes, we struggle with sexual issues, too! That's one reason why I found your "snake selling apples" comment so funny and appropriate. I know you had no ill intent, though, and I'm glad you made me aware of these places.

In my younger days I rejected church teachings on sexuality and embraced the "sexual revolution". Now that I'm older I can look back with a fresh perspective and see what that revolution has led to. Let's just say, by my observation, society is not better off for it, IMHO.

That being said, I'm not judging anyone and I don't "hate" anyone. Quite the contrary. I read posts from people on here struggling with sexual addiction and confusion and my heart goes out to them. As one former president with his own struggles with sex said, "I feel their pain."

And this might be a good place to say how much I appreciate your openness and candor about your own situation, not to mention your humor, interspersed with helpful advice. Your ability to accept people with their problems and concerns and respond in a genuine and compassionate manner actually inspires me to be more Christian in my acceptance of "all" people.

But I digress....

No, actually, the gayness and amount of men is incredibly arousing to me and "Tempting"! But I don't think I would be better off for having participated in one of those gatherings. As a matter of fact, I think it would probably have a serious negative impact on my life. So, yeah, for me it just wouldn't be "right".

I'll just leave it at that for now.

Thanks again, Snaga.

I'm supposed to be Christian (protestant) so yeah, I totally understand where you're coming from.

I'm not the kind to do that either in our position. And even if I were, I wouldn't want to have to sleep in a separate room. A locked one. On the other side of the planet. With one eye open.

A slight follow up on the Jacks clubs.....
I had no intentions of actually going to the local club but I am insatiably CURIOUS! I contacted them about an upcoming meetup (or is that meat up? Ha). They gave me all the details except the location. If I said I was planing to come ( I'll leave that play on words alone) they would send the location.
As I said, I didn't intend to go but I found it very tempting. I got quite aroused just thinking about it, The deal breaker / reality check for me was the mention that HIV positive men were welcome (as the risk of spreading it in that situation was negligible) and the disclaimer that they were not responsible for the spread of any disease, including MPOX (commonly known as monkey pox).
After a quick risk / reward analysis my arousal brought on by thoughts of "maybe attending" was quickly deflated.
Yep, Not bisexual. Just curious and really horny!

Use whatever label feels right for you.

Yet, I would like to remind you that one can be sexually attracted by a person or group of persons without wanting to engage physically for reasons, including safety reasons (such as the risk of STD). As an example, a guy who is sexually attracted by a gal while refusing to do it untill they get married is still heterosexual.

There are specific orientation labels for people who are aroused at the idea of sex, who enjoy having fantasies, self-pleasure, watch or read porn... but have zero interest in actually doing the deed with another person. It is "anegosexual". It can combine with any other orientation label. As an example, one can be heterosexual and anego-homosexual. Meaning, interested into having sex with people of another gender, and also horny at the idea of doing it with the same gender without having any interest into doing it physically with the same gender -possibly, getting deflated or even disgusted when put in the situation of doing it physically. And getting up again once the situation becomes "fantasy only" once again.

Sexuality is weird. There are dozens and dozens of weird and super specific labels out there if you want to go fish. Or you can keep using the one you already do because it is a better fit. It is your life, so they are your labels.

You're right. There are lots and lots of labels out there. I think the need to label everybody and everything is really unnecessary, though. Is there a label for someone who chooses not to be labeled? Autolabelphobic maybe? I like *you be you and I'll be me'. But I don't want to appear antisocial so for now I'll just use the label "harmless and lovable dirty old man".

Labels are supposed to be useful, and if you have no use for a label, well, be your fabulous, un-labelled self, then!

Yeah I keep forgetting about the monkeypox. I'm probably far too risk-averse to consider it, even were I free to without very unpleasant results at home. Also I'm not sure it'd be wise to whet my appetite, I'd want more- the one I'd be going to is at a venue that also operates glory holes- that's a whole 'nother level of temptation for me...