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Wanting help with my sexuality

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Re: Wanting help with my sexuality

Postby Kaleb28 » Sun Dec 19, 2021 3:05 am

I'm trying so hard to just sit there and be comfortable with these feelings of mine but I just can't I mean I get it if I find men attractive it just think that because it's so new that it's just taking a bit to get used to it I don't know I want so badly to not be so anxious about it nothing bad will ever happen but I can't seem to be comfortable with it. I mean, I think I get why I don't want to when I think about it as much as I want to get over this anxiety there's this part of me that really doesn't want to be comfortable with it
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Re: Wanting help with my sexuality

Postby Kaleb28 » Tue Dec 21, 2021 2:09 pm

I know exactly why I'm having trouble it's because I just can't let go of my past. What do I do, how do I let go of it. The past is the past and it's not like I can rewind time so it obviously makes no sense to think about it yet I still do! When ever I get depressed at homosexuality it's out of a since we'll I wasn't like this before. So if that's the solution how do I get let go of it? I know that's hard to answer on a forum but I just don't know how to I feel like I can't let go of it.
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Re: Wanting help with my sexuality

Postby Kaleb28 » Sun Jan 02, 2022 11:03 pm

I've been feeling like $#%^ all week I got a new desk for Christmas and had a pretty peaceful new year's eve all and all it was ok. I think there's always going to be a lot of anxiety over my sexuality for the rest of my life. Like even if I get over this I'll still have the memory of all this and I'll be waiting for it to come at me with a vengeance. I don't want to find anybody attractive I just want to live my life but it's so hard, I wish I didn't have a libido. I also want to tell my parents I've changed but I'm afraid to
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Re: Wanting help with my sexuality

Postby Snaga » Mon Jan 03, 2022 3:29 am

I wouldn't say anything about sexuality to anyone, until you get some therapy... just my two cents.
Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

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Re: Wanting help with my sexuality

Postby Kaleb28 » Thu Jan 06, 2022 6:09 am

I think my emotions will get in the way of any productive conversation with the psychiatrist, I think the best option is to keep an open mind, but I'm just afraid, I think I with time would get over the initial shock of it all but than I would feel depressed. Honestly though I think I would keep moving the goal post "oh if you.find men attractive than your obviously not straight" *finds men attractive*(I don't understand text symbols just bear with me) if you like cock than your obviously not straight *starts finding it more appealing* anyway you get the point I'm just a stubborn ###$ who can't cope with change. The person I was 9-10 months ago is not the same person I am now I sometimes wonder how I was like that, the fact that my heterosexual self feels so foreign to me is so sad. I feel alone I can't relate with people in the ocd forum but I can relate with people on sexuality websites yet I also remember things changing which no gay/bi person can say happened to them. Is sexual fluidity a thing? I read somewhere that .73% of heterosexual males can have morphing sexualities I guess I'm one of them. I fear the response from the psychologist almost the same way I fear opening the dryer door to see if one of my cats jumped into there.
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