My Lesbian Journey. (Sexually Sensitive Material)

I am a very outgoing girl and I am not shy. This post is my being sexually open. I am all things girl. If this type of stuff bothers you, you may not want to read this. I have tried to be sensitive. Please if your a moderator and you change this will you be kind enough to let me know. Thanks.

Hi, Everyone. Just wanted to share some thoughts and see if you have any interesting feedback.

I have already shared in other places that my parents had died when I was 15 and that my sexuality is Lesbian.

I want to clarify something about my lesbian stance.

First, I have never had sex with anyone. I think the term is "going all the way." I knew there were differences between a guy and a girl but I never showed any interest in it until after my parents died. I truly had no inkling of what happened when a boy and girls got together. My discovery of this was when I was 16 and saw my first porn movie on the internet. Remember I grew up in a Christian home and school and this was something I never showed any interest in and neither did anyone else. It was let's say shocking, but I knew nothing was wrong with it. Except maybe the fact that sex was for marriage so I was saving myself for that.

I also started to develop more physically after I turned 16. And with freedom of not having parents and a sister who wasn't aware of what I was doing all the time I started to read "erotic" books on the internet. No matter how hard I tried I could not identify with men. It seems they were only interested in themselves and not the woman. Another confession here up to this time the only male I ever kissed was my dad. I can not even remember hugging another male or doing more than shaking hands.

I also at this time read an erotic book on lesbian sex. This really got my heart pumping. For the first time in my life, I masturbated. It felt wonderful. It was something I would do when I was feeling stressed and it helped in so many different ways. But it was not a regular thing. Then in my senior year of high school, I started to date a girl. First, it was hanging out, doing sleepovers, going to movies and out for lunch. Of course, this got back to the church and I was counseled. Still, we were close and on one of my many sleepovers we kissed.

The electricity was amazing. We never did any more than "heavy" petting. No penetration. I am still a virgin. Since then she has gone to an out of state college and we talk very little. Since then I have not "dated" I have hung out with other girls but nothing else.

So that's why I say I'm a lesbian. Nothing of men interested me, and I keep most men an arms lengths distance from me. I don't hang out with men, or go out with men, my doctors are all female, even my counselor and psychiatrist are women. I am not a man hater. But I don't understand them, and I know I have not been trying either. I believe I am attractive, and I get this from all the men who hit on me, but there is nothing there.

So that's a little more of a story of who I am, and why I lean lesbian.

Amanda

Welcome to the club! You sound like a nice girl and you'll probably make some girl happy one day. Go get em

Lusid wrote:Welcome to the club! You sound like a nice girl and you'll probably make some girl happy one day. Go get em

Thanks...

Why does it seem that every lesbian I run into wants to have sex with me? Is there any faithfulness in the lesbian community. I want long term commitments, not one night stands.

Amanda

Ok, I decided. I'm going to do it...

done...

Met a girl at college the other day. I have seen her around but we never connected. Yesterday we cut class and went out for coffee and had a blast. Later I encouraged her to come over to my place to watch a movie. She said yes! She came over around 7 and we started to watch a movie. Halfway through we stopped for a bathroom break. When she walked into my bathroom she was amazed. She asked if she could take a bath. So we lit some candles. I thought she was going to put on a swimsuit but no she jumped in nude. So I joined her. I even gave her a foot massage. I have a thing about girls feet. They can tell you so much about her health and care of her body. Needless to say, we ended up in bed together. She must have wanted that because she brought a change of clothes with her. So, officially I can say I'm no longer a virgin.

In the morning I woke up early to drive my sister to work. I let my friend sleep until just after 8. She got up to take a shower and 2 minutes later I jumped in with her. I mean someone had to wash her back? We were late for class.

Need I say more...

Almost a week since my girlfriend moved in. So far it's been the best week of my life in a long time.

It was a good day. Swam my 20 laps, ran 6 miles with Anna, cut classes to get in the sun, had lunch with friends from school. Been building those since the church is out of my life for now. Went for a walk with my sister. It was a pleasant day everything considered. Waiting for dinner. Anna is cooking tonight I believe lamb chops.

I think Anna has overall been a real plus in my life. She is nurturing but not overwhelming. She helps at night with my nightmares. Has given my sister time to explore a life of her own. We do things together, walking, running, movies, etc. She takes time every day for herself and that gives me time to reflect and study. She is not like me as far as school goes. She can be happy with a C and that is not my way. So I get alone time to study. We laugh, sing, dance.

I'm trying to teach her to run around the house naked with me but she is very body conscious. Like today I went out to our pool from the house topless. She was all shy and everything. But the property is surrounded by a 12-foot brick wall with 4 gated entrances in the 4 directions. So a neighbor across the street might be able to see me but I don't give a duck. I go skinny dipping at night, or at least I will again when it warms up. I no longer shock the maids. I'm so bad I don't even close the bathroom door unless I'm dumping a load. I can even pee standing up.

So what has it been a week since she moved in? I haven't been this happy in years. I still make her keep her clothes in her own room. But other than that I'm living a dream. She doesn't understand why I post here and share things openly but besides that, I think it's a match made in heaven. But I'm sure the church would not see it that way. But I am doing better on that front as well.

Very happy for you AmandaBroken

muse1957 wrote:Very happy for you AmandaBroken

Thanks muse1957