Sexual Addiction :(

You know, sometimes i feel like i should be registering on gaming websites, or sports websites... but here i am

I've been a sexual addict ever since i can remember. I started masturbation and sexual manipulation with girls at about 6 which to some degree is normal. However as time went on i began engaging in masturbatory acts of touching and obsessing. I even began to have vivid sexual dreams without having SEEN full grown naked women in the first place.



As i turned 12, i began being able to ejaculate and it got to the point where at age 14 i masturbated up to 10 times a day. I just couldn't stop it was so easy and felt so good. As i grew into maturity i had pretty regular relationships with girls but i didnt end up having sex until i was 18, but i'll get to that later. At about age 15 i started frequenting "singles" websites and i had taken a liking to "Mature women" which as my friends have told me is normal. But i tend to do things in the extreme. It started off as simple chat with the women byt as i grew older and more bold i began meeting with them.

At age 18, i had to have sex. At my most dire time, i had asked my mom for her credit card to get something online. However i didnt tell her what this something was. I had purchased time on an Adult meeting website. Soon after i saw a 28 year old who was very beautiful but as i didnt earn the money the sex felt cheap and dirty. Not only that but i had gotten sex in a way that wasnt considered *run of the mill*. It realy got to me to the point where i stopped socializing in alot of ways because i felt so different and alienated.

Throughout this time (from 18-22) i have attempted time and time again to quit frequenting these sites and sleeping with women but it keeps beating me. The most time ive ever stayed away from the sites was about a year. During this year (20-21) i had(and still have) a very good and loving girl friend which is why it made it easy to stop visiting these websites. However i still wasn't being honest with myself and i ended up frequnting porn websites or having questionable chat with other girls. She eventually caught me doing this and our relationship hasn't been the same and under the stress of this i began going to the sites again. I have not met anyone yet but i fear i will... i almost want to... but every time i Climax from these sites i feel awful. The sick part is, is climaxing to images of these women inspires me to rebuild things with my girlfriend. It's almost as if my orgasms are a drug which promotes and hinders happiness. I honestly feel this is a TRUE addiction.

I know this issue delves much deeper into my psyche and being. And i think these are the main reasons for my addiction: My parent's Relationship (was awful), My mother her self(she frequently walked around naked ), The way i was parented.

The sad part i find, is that i KNOW why this happens and i know how to stop it to a degree but i just dont. It's like a stress release for me when i feel i can't go anywhere else. It's crippling me to the point where i've stopped seeing my friends because nothing gives me that release or stimulous. I'm also beginning to feel like people are watching me or that they know about my addiction. I've told some friends and they say it's all part of an existental crisis that can be solved if i deal with it but i feel like i'm in REALLY deep.

Any ideas? Am i alone? A freak?

You're not alone. Nymfomania is a recognized trait.

Does your girlfriend know about this?

I think you should see a therapist. This sounds like something a cognitive behaviour therapy could cure.

Thanks, yeah i do see a psychatrist and we've been through alot of this but it's just not stopping. But i dnt think i've talked with him about these specific acts as i dont really discuss it as much as i dance around it ;(

coreyhalliwell wrote:You know, sometimes i feel like i should be registering on gaming websites, or sports websites... but here i am

I've been a sexual addict ever since i can remember. I started masturbation and sexual manipulation with girls at about 6 which to some degree is normal. However as time went on i began engaging in masturbatory acts of touching and obsessing. I even began to have vivid sexual dreams without having SEEN full grown naked women in the first place.



As i turned 12, i began being able to ejaculate and it got to the point where at age 14 i masturbated up to 10 times a day. I just couldn't stop it was so easy and felt so good. As i grew into maturity i had pretty regular relationships with girls but i didnt end up having sex until i was 18, but i'll get to that later. At about age 15 i started frequenting "singles" websites and i had taken a liking to "Mature women" which as my friends have told me is normal. But i tend to do things in the extreme. It started off as simple chat with the women byt as i grew older and more bold i began meeting with them.

At age 18, i had to have sex. At my most dire time, i had asked my mom for her credit card to get something online. However i didnt tell her what this something was. I had purchased time on an Adult meeting website. Soon after i saw a 28 year old who was very beautiful but as i didnt earn the money the sex felt cheap and dirty. Not only that but i had gotten sex in a way that wasnt considered *run of the mill*. It realy got to me to the point where i stopped socializing in alot of ways because i felt so different and alienated.

Throughout this time (from 18-22) i have attempted time and time again to quit frequenting these sites and sleeping with women but it keeps beating me. The most time ive ever stayed away from the sites was about a year. During this year (20-21) i had(and still have) a very good and loving girl friend which is why it made it easy to stop visiting these websites. However i still wasn't being honest with myself and i ended up frequnting porn websites or having questionable chat with other girls. She eventually caught me doing this and our relationship hasn't been the same and under the stress of this i began going to the sites again. I have not met anyone yet but i fear i will... i almost want to... but every time i Climax from these sites i feel awful. The sick part is, is climaxing to images of these women inspires me to rebuild things with my girlfriend. It's almost as if my orgasms are a drug which promotes and hinders happiness. I honestly feel this is a TRUE addiction.

I know this issue delves much deeper into my psyche and being. And i think these are the main reasons for my addiction: My parent's Relationship (was awful), My mother her self(she frequently walked around naked ), The way i was parented.

The sad part i find, is that i KNOW why this happens and i know how to stop it to a degree but i just dont. It's like a stress release for me when i feel i can't go anywhere else. It's crippling me to the point where i've stopped seeing my friends because nothing gives me that release or stimulous. I'm also beginning to feel like people are watching me or that they know about my addiction. I've told some friends and they say it's all part of an existental crisis that can be solved if i deal with it but i feel like i'm in REALLY deep.

Any ideas? Am i alone? A freak?

what do you mean by sexual manipulation with girls at 6, and it being normal to some degree?


i dont mean this in an attacking way, im genuinely interested in finding out



and btw it sucks you are going through this, and having your mom walk around naked sounds awfuly strange i would consider this abuse, but thats just my op.

Well like it was the standard *you shoe me yours and i'll show you mine* which is considered to be pretty normal curiosity at a young age. And as for my mom, yeah it's a little weird but it's actually pretty common. I think the mistake was made when she never had a talk with me about it

The idea of it being strange walking around naked is because of our society. I think it's a shame.

That said, I'm terribly prudish myself. :^j

I just want things to get better I feel so alone and i keep regressing to porn because it's real and predictable and i dont feel that i deserve anything better. Will it get better?

Probably, if you are honest with your psychiatrist. And if s/he can't help you, try another one.

coreyhalliwell wrote:Well like it was the standard *you shoe me yours and i'll show you mine* which is considered to be pretty normal curiosity at a young age. And as for my mom, yeah it's a little weird but it's actually pretty common. I think the mistake was made when she never had a talk with me about it

thats very interesting, i didnt think either 'practice' was normal?


anyways, sorry to interupt the flow of convo.

first time here so bear with me. I'm 44 and have been compulsively masterbating since I was 11. later i was diagnosed as been obessive-compulsive. to this day, i like to masterbation in front of women rather than have sex. i have a very addictive personality and have gone thru several types of addictions. Currnetly, i enjoy going to massage parlors to masterbate in fron of the girl, with only her top off. i also enjoy doing cocaine and drinking beer. No one knows about this secret life i have. I have my own company, make good money, have an MBA in math and otherwise a normal life. I was married for 12 years. my wife did not like my masterbating so i had sex with her just to please her. 6 years ago, we had our first (and last) child. right after he was born, my wife wasn't into it and decided to leave. I'm raising a good kid, do a lot with him. However i can't wait to play with myself in front of girls. I know it is not normal, but i am not hurting anyone and enjoy it. this is the first time I've talked about it. any comments about this would be greatly appreciated.