I am new here. I've been searching for help for about three months. Let me tell my story.
I'm 23 years old. About three months ago I met my first girlfriend. She was experienced in emotional and sexual relationships and she has strong character, in some cases she's similar to a man
I had never had a girlfriend before, because I am standing in emotions and... a little bit shy. I was fallen in love with few girls during my life and then I wasn't interested in any other women. However, I didn't make any kind relationship. Backing to the story, at the start of this year, I decided to try to get involved in a new relationship with mentioned girl. She arranged everything, I gave up pick up. Till this time, I WAS CONVINCED that kiss is something miraculous. But when she kissed me I didn't feel anything in my spirit, moreover, i didn't expect such a feeling, because I wasn't fallen in love with her (however I concidered her as attractive girl). Half an hour earlier, I see that she was picking me up at the disco. I felt excited... until I went close to her... then my penis flopped... I don't know why, beacuse she attracted me! So maybe therefore my first kiss wasn't nice to me (and every kiss after too). After that, during our relationship, I was feeling more and more worse... However I decided to give us some time. On the other hand, I was happy that I have someone who I can care about. I didn't think about sex, but shortly after she wanted to make love with me. I attempted not to hurt her, so I was trying to do it (howerer, UNCONSCIOUSLY I didn't want sex and I didn't realised it!), but I got no arousal. She shouted at me and I felt horrible...My trauma lasts till today. After we broke up, I had erotic some dreams (I was dreaming that kiss is FANTASTIC
) but today I can't imagine that happy relationship (and sex) could be wonderful... However I have (my subconsciousness has 
) a lot of dreams and earlier pleasant expectations - it is possible to reprogram my attitude, "forget" about this horrible time, and truly fall in love? I strongly believe that it is possible, but how can I do it? By self-hypnosis or autogenic training? (A few years ago, I felt strong arousal only when I was dancing with a girl... I want it back!) I HAVE ALL THE LIFE AHEAD OF ME, I WANT TO BE HAPPY! 
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