How to overcome delayed ejaculation?

Hi all,

I recently started having sex about 2 months ago with this girl I'm seeing. I don't come and I don't even come close. We usually stop after about 30-40 minutes (she doesn't come either yet she doesn't seem concerned at all).

I can get an erection, even when we're fully clothed, sitting in public somewhere. I've read that a long-lasting erection is a symptom of delayed ejaculation. Yet sometimes I've only got the start of an erection as I'm not fully aroused.

I can get myself off through masturbation no worries, my technique is hard grip, and fast. But I think the problem is I'm uncircumcised so I've most likely become accustomed to the fast movement of the foreskin over the head of the penis which can't be replicated with sex.

It could also be something psychological, like shame or discomfort. I do sometimes feel discomfort, not so much during sex though.

I've been eating better to increase my nutrients and vitamins, taking horny goat weed, a multivitamin, working out, and also doing kegels and specific yoga poses designed to stretch the muscles around the pelvis.

The second time we had sex I did feel a split-second of pleasure and then it was gone.

Firstly, does anyone know of any good online resources or books that are around sexual inhibitions? Something that asks questions and has me journal my answers. Or with exercises designed to get me more comfortable and feeling the sensations more?

Does anyone know of any good mp3 self-hypnosis products that do something similar to the above?

Is there any masturbation-style that I can adopt to become more used to vaginal sex?

And finally, what else would you recommend?

Thanks heaps!

Hey dude,

I don't know of any resources (books, etc) about this specifiaclly. However, one good book that I have in my own collection is the following: http://www.amazon.com/Lesbian-Sex-Secre ... 0452281334 It offers so much advice and on a range of different issues. I cannot remember if erection problems / delayed ejaculation is covered in it though. Anyway, are you nervous do you think when you're having sex with your partner? I mean, even before you start, are you 'thinking too much' and feeling nervous/anxious? The last time I tried to have sex, I couldn't maintain an erction. That was actually the one and only time I had sex in my life so far - haha.

Another question: Does it normally take you a long time to feel comfortable around people, in general?

Kevin

Jorgana,
You may be interested in trying a Fleshlight for masturbation. I have never used one, but read a little about them. Using one may wean you off your hand and better prepare you for the feel of vaginal sex.

Jorgana,

The girl not being concerned that she doesn't have an orgasm is typical. According to society/human nature/ the way we are wired, it's much more acceptable if the girl doesn't cum, and much more of an issue if the guy doesn't. The thing about your post that I noticed is that you can masturbate using your hard/fast technique to make yourself cum.

A girl if she's giving you a hand job, or if you are having vaginal sex with her is not going to be able to go that hard and fast and do it as precisely as you can by yourself. I think that's one of the obstacles you need to overcome.

In my experience there was a time I retrained myself several times to orgasm to different stimulus.
When I was a teenager, I somehow learned to masturbate by holding a pillow between my legs and pushing up against it. I couldn't masturbate the regular way and be able to cum. I was like that until maybe 10 years later. Then I learned to cum by masturbating the "traditional" way. All this time, I had a really tough time with RE and had a lot of problems with orgasms with a real girl. Then I spent many years where it was difficult to cum with a girl but I could do it sometimes and only after a lot of effort. It was quite a workout. The intensity of the orgasm was not anywhere near that of doing it myself. Nowadays, I've gotten to the point where I can orgasm almost every time, and it feels intense.

The point is, that there are a lot of reasons why guys like us with RE cannot orgasm with a girl. But a common underlying theme is that it seems that we are just not used to doing it that way. I really think exploring and getting comfortable with a girl is the way to solve the problem. Here's what I mean:
I can masturbate with my left hand (i'm a lefty) and I can orgasm 99.9% of the time. If I used my right hand, I'm in big trouble. I've never orgasmed that way before and I really don't feel confident that I can do it right away. But I'm pretty sure if I practiced for a few months, I'd figure it out.
I have a strong suspicion that most men are like this. So in this simple example, the most likely reason is not because my right hand is weak, or I have some kind of mutation on my penis that makes the nerves on one side more sensitive than the other. The first thing most people would think of is that, you're just not used to doing it that way.
There's more to RE than that, but that's my preliminary advice.
I'd be happy to answer any specific questions.

OpenMinded.

simply use kegels.. or rather.. search the inet for meds to cure it.. but it still sums up to mind power...

I have been a victim of painful PE also...the stuffs we take are not good...sometime when I see a movie I have precum...and I find masturbation sometimes more satisfaction....you see we can overcome it guys

how about try some ginseng products guys...i'll try it too if could cure the problem

Hello everyone!
My husband and I have been working on his delayed ejaculation problem for a long time. We'd finally gotten to the point where he could ejaculate vaginally, and finally got pregnant. Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage, and ever since, his problem has come back. It isn't that he cannot finish in other ways, just can't finish "normally." He stated that he was afraid of hurting me again, by getting me pregnant and then me having another miscarriage, so we decided to wait a bit, and I went on birth control. Even with the birth control, he still cannot finish.
He has always watched more pornography than other men (as far as I know-- perhaps I'm not aware as to what is a normal usage) and has a lot of trouble getting excited enough to finish without watching clips before we start. I'm fairly liberal in my views on the use of pornography, so if that helps, then by all means.... However, I'm wondering if the amount that he masturbates on his own, perhaps that is the cause-- is he too used to finishing that way? We've read all of the articles out there, and like I said, had success before, but now we've hit a huge road block. Any recommendations?
Thanks! I'm just getting really frustrated on my end.

It would be very surprising if both porn and masturbation did not contribute. You state he doesn't get excited enough without it.

So how were you able to get him to the point where he could cum vaginally before?

Go to search for gubalai sini on the facebook her method work great.