Avoiding relationships to avoid sex

I'm not sure if this is the right forum so I apologize in advance.

I'm 34, African-American with a college degree and job. But I've never had a boyfriend and am still a virgin.

I don't consider myself attractive, am overweight and its difficult for me to make friends. I usually go to work and come home and never go out on the weekends. I also don't drive because I have a fear of being in an accident.

I'm very confused because while I'd like to have a boyfriend I avoid relationships because I know it will lead to sex which I'm afraid of. I'm also disturb by two other things: when I fantasize about sex its with someone who's white (yes I'm attracted to both African-American & White men) and/or the sex is very forceful/borderline rape.

I think there's clearly something wrong with me.

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to white males. Actually, if you rejected other races, not because of matters of taste, but because of racist ideas, then it wouldn't be generally desirable by society, but still it would be acceptable.
As for the sex part of your posting, it depends on how you really see it. If you are not interested in having real sex and
you are indifferent to sexual contact besides your fantasies, but you believe that it's not normal within the society then there's nothing wrong. The norm is not necessary the only option, there are lots of alternatives that are also correct. As for your tendencies of machosism, maybe someone with knownledge on this can give you some insight.

This was posted in the retarded ejaculation thread. It might be of interest to you:

http://asexuality.org/discussion/index. ... afedc79312

sounds like a sexual disorder...check out this link....it might be of interest!

http://www.whatafeeling.net/sexualdisorders.php