I can't have an orgasm :(

Hello everyone,

I am a 23-year-old woman who hasn't had an orgasm since grade school

I used to masturbate as a child (I think I started around 3 or 4). I would masturbate whenever I had free time, usually around 3 times a day, and I would almost always achieve orgasm within 2 to 5 minutes (hey I was quick ). But at some point (I can't pinpoint it exactly, but it was around the age of 8 ) all of a sudden I couldn't get much pleasure out of masturbation, no matter how hard I tried.

This situation has caused me a lot of distress. I've lost the best sensation I've ever felt, and along with it I've lost a way to release tension, to satisfy my urges, to relax even. Also, I can't try having sex, because I'm not attracted to any people; which would be ok if I didn't have any sex drive, but the problem is I do have an immense sex drive that I don't know what to do with! I have all these urges and absolutely no outlet for them; no desires, no fantasies whatsoever.

Could it be due to some sort of repressed trauma? Could it be physiological? Do I have to go to a gynecologist? Should I visit some sort of psychiatrist, psychologist or sex therapist? I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I don't know anything about these things, and I'm too embarrassed to ask my family and/or friends about such a sensitive personal matter. Could you people give me some sort of direction on what course I should take? Is my problem complicated?

Note that I have never been sexually abused.

Thanks in advance

Hi,

Don't worry, I hope I can help you here.

Your problem doesn't point to any "repressed trauma" and, due to the age that it started (i.e. 8 years of age), I'm thinking that it's purely a physiological problem. You see, 8 years of age is around the time that the body starts to produce the androgens (sex hormones). Some people produce adequate amounts of them, while others produce too much. However, there are also some who produce too little. This could be what has happened in your case.

The female sex-hormones (oestrogen, progesterone, etc) stimulate the widening of the hips, the growth of the breasts, the beginning of the menstruation cycle, etc.

Anyway, my advice is to go to your GP and tell him/her everything that you have just told us here. They will then take control of the situation from there. They might take blood and send it off to a lab or else refer you to a specialist.

Take care,
Kevin

I'm 16 and have never orgasmed at all. Though since you did when younger it can hopefully be fixed. I'm as horny as any normal teenager though, so I know what you mean by "no outlet."

Thank you very much for your answer. So I go to a general practitioner first? Makes sense now that I think about it... although I'm not sure how I'll go about explaining such an embarrassing issue to my usual doctor

Again, thank you for the guidance.

Hi,

Yes, I think that going to a GP is the best thing to do here. When you talk to him/her, just say that you have had a low libido for many years now and that you are wondering what could be causing it. He/she will then know which questions to ask you and, from there, things will become clearer eventually.

Kevin

Get your Doc to prescribe the antidepressant medication called Wellbutrin. One of it's side effects to to raise libido and lower the orgasmic threshold of women. If you are not depressed the antidepressant part of this medication should have no effect on you other than perhaps a slight rise in anxiety levels which usually disappear after you have been on the meds for a couple of months.

Here is more info-

note: the generic name for Wellbutrin is Bupropion

http://www.pslgroup.com/dg/1d279a.htm

The best answer to all of this is medication or simply to relax like take up yoga. Try anything before giving up. It cant hurt to give it a try

Amen to the above poster. I review plenty of libido enhancers and I always say the number one thing is health. exercise, physical and mental health, and a strong relationship are the key to achieving sexual fulfillment. Only after all is failed would I turn to medication.