So confused and don't know where to start.

Hello, I have something confusing to share and had been wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences before.
I am a woman in her twenties, previously in a very loving relationship that lasted almost 5 years. But my story will start here:
everytime in the past that I had found myself attracted to someone, I would persue them or hope that they would find me attractive as well. Many times it turned out that they did like me, but the moment I learned of that fact, I wasn't attracted to them anymore! It was like I would get this aversion to them and couldn't even see them as being attractive or sexy. That always confused me greatly, and has brought me quite a bit of grief.
When I met my ex, I was incredibly enamoured by him, found him to be extremely attractive, and persued him. When I learned that he liked me as well, I didn't have an aversion to him, and we started dating shortly afterwards. I was in such relief that I could still like someone after knowing that they liked me as well.
There were some sexual frustrations after a while. We had sex and I never experienced an orgasm, and I didn't give much thought to that. (I've never had an orgasm from masturbation, and cannot seem to be turned on by doing so). A few years went by (still no orgasm, no matter what we tried), and slowly I started losing my physical attraction to the wonderful man. Nearing the end of our relationship I could not see him as a lover anymore, and even the slightest hug or kiss on the cheek would make me want to cringe and leave the room. What I don't understand is how I can lose such an interest in someone whom I had been in a wonderful relationship with. I've never been sexually molested, never had any tragic or scarring incidences in a sexual manner. I feel absolutely wretched because never having an orgasm (while a bit annoying sometimes) wasn't something that I would base a relationship on. But why did I lose my attraction to this man?
Anyone else with something similar?

Hi, Sumi! I think something a bit similar used to happen to me. If I knew that someone liked me, I couldn't like them back and they actually became unatractive to me. I think it might have to do with low self esteem and feeling like I'm not good enough and that no one should like me.
Maybe you still couldn't let yourself feel wanted when you were with your ex, even though you cared about him, and it eventually became like with the other guys.

Thanks jasmin. I never thought about it that way before. That would make perfect sense, since I do have some self-esteem issues. It is a relief to know that I am not the only one out there who has experienced this bizarre thing, although I am at the same time very sorry to hear that you have been through it. Were you ever able to overcome it?

Hey sumi, I think it comes down to being emotionally "cleaned," if you will, and accepting yourself as is, like you mentioned with self-esteem. When you are emotionally "potent," "fertile," accepting of all your body gives you at all times, you can experience profound pleasure from yourself and others.

I think it's gotten a bit better for me now, Sumi. I guess you have to work on accepting yourself like radames said. Try to get to know the guy and see if you can care about him, if you want a new relationship, I guess.

radames and jasmin, thank you very much. ^-^ I hope that I can overcome my problem, and I am very glad to hear that you (jasmin) have done so. Thank you two!

I still have some self esteem issues, but things can get better for the both of us

I am not humanly perfect in any way sumi, as is anyone, I am still working on me, but I like to stay positive in the meantime.