Odd sort of sexual problem

I lost my virginity on the 8th (and still haven't stopped bleeding, but that's not my problem). It was with a boy who I have done other things with sexually, so far I've gotten him off about 4 times, (once before, and then three times when we were having sex), and I get nothing out of it. At all. I get turned on, I want it, but I get no pleasure from anything. He touches all the right places, lots of foreplay, lots of clitral stimulation, except the fact that I have no stimulation. It's been like this since before I can remember, since my early attempts at masterbation until I gave up.

Is it... I know its not normal, but is it not unheard of to have no pleasure in sexual contact?

How old are you? It can be hard for women to have orgasms sometimes, especially when they are young. I think you are going to have to experiment and see what you can do to get yourself off. Don't put presssure on your bf. He will just get frustrated. If you find out how to make it happen ten you can teach him.

Only 17, and I know a lot of women don't orgasm till they are much much older, but I get hardly any pleasure out of it at all.

That is pretty young. Are you getting aroused at all? Do you get wet? Or is there just no pleasure?

I can get aroused, but when it comes to actual touching and things like that, it stops there.

Have you tried a vibrator?

It's not unheard of by any means. It can be called many things and have many causes. If it's psychological, it could be anything from anxiety to past abuse, or it could be something in your development that has not been fully realized. If you're on SSRI's or other antidepressants, anti-anxiety or psychoactive drugs, you can experience a 'deadening' of sexual urges or sexual pleasure in general. Other drugs, such as certain blood pressure medications, can also greatly reduce sex drive. I've personally experienced a sort of lack of sexual sensation while on a beta blocker, which is a group of drugs designed to help with cardiovascular problems like hypertension and arrhythmia. Also, physical problems such as nerve damage can cause or exacerbate loss of sensation in the genitals.

Your initial judgment on which of the above is most likely to be the cause will help in diagnosis, of course, and no one on these forums can know better than you why you're experiencing it. What I would like to point out is that it's not usual to be experiencing nothing in the way of sexual arousal at 17 years of age. In fact, humans should be capable of sexual pleasure from a very young age, though orgasm may be more stunted in some than others. You are not too young to be experiencing sexual pleasure, and you're at the beginning of true adulthood. Basically, you are a fully functioning sexual individual, and other mechanisms have to be at work to be stopping your sexual enjoyment. That's not to say there's no hope, just that it has to be figured out.

You say you've never had self-pleasure before? Do you know of any past abuse? Do you have any 'fetishes' or paraphilias?

This link may be helpful for starters.

I was sexually abused by my older brother when I was very young, but i'm over that by now, it hardly crosses my mind really, and I don't relate it to my sex life at all. As far as fetishes, Nothing serious. I prefer to be the submissive and I like biting and things to that affect.

I basicaly have no feeling in my clitoris, and I know women don't really have many nerves that penetration really touches, so that's nothing as well.

Hi Lyric,

You mention that you were sexually abused by your brother, and that you are over it now. It may be worth thinking though, whether this is contributing to your lack of sexual feeling. Your brother interfered with you in a horrible way and as you have grown up through your teens you may have repressed the memories so as you can just get on with the day to day business of living a normal life. Have you ever spoken to your brother about it?

You may want to post in the sexual abuse forum because there are plenty of people there who can give good advice.

wishing you well

Rick

I entirely agree with Rick. Well said.