I have never had an orgasm

I am 41 and I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. I have a very strong aversion to sex so I have tried with masturbation. I have been trying for years hoping it will do something to weaken my aversion as it is a cause of great distress for me. I have heard of people ‘learning how’ to orgasm. Anyone have any idea how that works?
Thank you

Hi, did you ever get any further along with this?

I had a girlfriend couldn't get her to reach orgasm. One day she's working on the computer and I seat behind her. I started carecing her in the back, put my hands under her clothes and just touched her for a while all over her upper body. After a while she gets aroused so I go for her vagina with my fingers. Finally I see her expressing real pleasure. She told me not to stop and after a while she had an orgasm and a smile on her face. So I learned the importance of foreplay and spontaneity, it just felt so natural, unlike other times where you have sex because you are supposed to, in certain situations. Maybe you need to find a partner who is good at reading your libido and touching you right, so you can get in the mood and sex just happens more spontaneously.