Sexual Performance Anxiety is Ruining my life what to do?

Hi everyone,

So i been dealing with performance anxiety for a bit now and I'm not to sure what to do.I went to my general practitioner & Urologist and they both said everything is working fine its all in my head.My doc gave me some Cialis to use to help overcome this problem but I really don't want to use it since it would make me feel that i would depend on it. Im 28 healthy and workout regularly.I been dating my girlfriend for about 4 months now and last night was the first time we tried to have sex. I was hard and excited while we were making out, but when it came down to performing I went limp.I felt so embarrassed I didn't know what to do.I told her that i get anxiety when it comes to these things and it takes some time.She said it was fine and its no biggie.Even though she said this in my mind I am afraid that she will leave me and find someone else.Can anyone recommend any tips or guidance and what i can do to overcome this?I feel that if she was to leave me after 1 failed attempt with our first time having sex than she isn't worth my time anyway. I wanted to be straight up and honest with her and tell her this is what im dealing with and doc gave me some cialis to overcome this.I hope it was the right move.Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Steve

Hi Steve

You mentioned you have been deal SPA for a while now, as in with previous partners?

Long story short (you can read my post in the ED sub) Ive had performance anxiety issues off and on since i began being sexual active at 16. Ive learned a lot, a lot about myself and I have a lot of work to do still. I can now lend some key advice to you:

1. If you have been cleared as healthy and you can have a perfect erection in other scenarios, then you can overcome this anxiety without boner pills.
2. Do whatever you need to with your partner to get the pressure off of erection-centric sex. Play around with each other, get into your animalistic side. The more youre focused on how turned on you are being with each other the less youll be in your head. All that talk of fear that she will leave yoi has got to end. Take her aside and lay everything out. Let her know this is how your body works etc and if shes not accepting you need to end it now.
3. Im about to be 30 this year and i know my body better than i think a lot 30 year old men do thanks to taking my sex issues head on. I have two great kids, another on the way and a lovely wife of 8 years. You got this man and i can help support you here.

Keep us updated Steve