Asexual as a result of Childhood Abuse

I had a few sexual related traumas growing up and physical abuse as a child. And as an adult I find myself repulsed of sex, mostly when it becomes a potential reality, Intimacy brings up feelings of digust, shame, repulsion in me. I can’t bring myself to be intimate with anyone despite really wanting to. I feel there is definitely a part of me that wants to be sexually involved with someone I trust. I do have a sexual drive that I fulfill conpletely on my own, but I still have feelings of disgust, shame etc. after watching porn or “getting off” etc. It really creates a lot of internal conflict and is making me quite depressed... I feel like I’ll never find a partner who could fully understand or be happy within a potentially “sexless” relationship. (Or at least a relationship with minimal sex).. is there anyway to healthily move past these mental blockages that are stopping me from being open to physical intimacy?

Counseling or therapy may help you.
It is difficult to be intimate in a relationship when it wasn't something we saw or learned growing up.
If you can change your outlook on things, you may find more enjoyment than you do now.
I didn't get married until I was 46. No children. In fact my 3 other siblings, only one other got married (twice) and we are all childless.
There was no drive to have children after growing up with family dysfunction, alcoholism and abuse. I can say that have never really felt sexually close to anyone. I really felt that other people let me down and the only one who could stick up for me was me. I was convinced of this at an early age when I ran away from home.
Mom seemed to think that it was OK to 'skip a generation'. I was a little upset to hear her say that as she still didn't get why it skipped a generation.
My marriage never really took off or is very rewarding. I'm 59 now. We just stay in it because I can't afford to dissolve it.
It is sometimes like living separate lives. We do some things together and have some friends in common, but i don't feel any magic in it.
I have my hobbies, my work and my cat.
My sister who I wasn't close to growing up seems to mean more to me lately as we both care for what is left of the family.
Best of luck to you.