Can't enjoy sex when I'm not in control

Hello everyone,

I'm a 25 years old guy and I don't have a girlfriend nor a fixed partner. I've slept with a few girls, including an ex-girlfriend (we dated for four years). Recently I've been going out more, meeting some girls and eventually had sex with them, and then I started noticing some issues.

My problem is that during sex I can't enjoy positions when I'm not in control. I start getting anxious and eventually lose erection. Troublesome positions include those when the woman is on top, doing oral sex or anything where I'm not the one doing all the work. This is kind of shameful since I feel like I'm losing half of it.

How can I overcome this? I'm not into very rough sex and classic positions work fine, e.g. missionary is always great. The problem are those when the girl does the action. I also don't know what to do when I'm not liking it, how to react. I don't know how to suggest us to change, and I start getting even more nervous.

Do you have any advice on this?

Thanks in advance.

I don't think it's something you should think to much about, it could be that what turns you on is being in control and there really isn't anything wrong with that. Plus, this could be just a phase. At least with me my kinks sometimes change, where I go through a period of liking something a lot and then it starts to not really get me aroused and I would go on to the next thing.

A question though, do you like that positions that can't get you hard like a girl being on top, or is it more it just doesn't arouse you?