Situational Retarded Ejaculation

Sad G., I don't know what is long enough for abstainence for your husband. For me, I think it's when I notice that my sensitivity has increased significantly, when the bottom of my penis' shaft near the scrotum is as sensitive as the top used to be(under the head), and the top has a sensitivity as great or greater than my lips or fingertips.
ALSO:
If you look on the Fertilitext forum (it's closed for comments now but it still shows the archives), on the Male Infertility board, there is a couple of posts by a couple who, when they met had both masturbated as singles for years and both couldn't acheive orgasm. Now, they're experiencing a whole new sexuality with healthy orgasms due to 4 weeks of abstainence .
Sad G., it's just my gut feeling that you will probably need 4 weeks minimum... I really do think this... that's just been my experience. Good luck.
Jay Dubb

haha. by the way things are going, ill be well past 4 weeks before getting laid...! anyways, question for men with RE. do you or did you guys usually tell/told women about your sexual dysfunction before having sex? i think it might be a good idea to tell someone before, but i can see how that might turn off a girl. how did you guys do it

I ended my masturbation abstinence after 44 days.

I ejaculated in about 1 to 2 minutes -- very fast for me, indeed. Also, there was probably 5 to 6 times the amount of sperm I normally produce when I'm masturbating 4 times or more a week.
So, sperm production is also likely a problem, with sexual exhaustion and, I would imagine, that a man's body wouldn't ejaculate as readily if sperm production was low.

Anyway, I'm quite relieved, happy for doing this experiment, will not compulsively masturbate anymore and now it's time to find a good woman!

J. Dubb
P.S. Sorry for calling you "Sad Gurl", Sad Girl. There is someone with a name so close to yours on this forum I got you mixed up. Hope you and husband are hanging in there and the abstinence proves as effective for you as it did for me. I'm a changed man.

j dubb. i think that was a mistake, you masturbating! why did you do that!! werent you supposed to wait for a girl? i thought the whole thing was to rewire and condition your brain to be able to respond to a different kind of stimulation so you can achieve an orgasm.! as for me im on my 11th day and not going to do it until wuth a girl. or if it gets too hard i may buy a machinary vagina...

Since Dr. Greene started this thread in Feb 2004, 33,000 hits have been recoreded for this topic. This seems to suggest that rather than being the rare condition (<5% of males reporting ) Retarded/Inhibited Ejaculation is a hugely underreported male sexual dysfunction.

I hope sex therapists and researches are amoung those 33000 viewers because this problem is widespread and growing, with a shocking number of younger men suffering with it.

I also hope the pharmaceutical cxompanies take notice because I think that's where, ultimately, a treament will finally emerge.

Since Dr. Greene started this thread in Feb 2004, 33,000 hits have been recoreded for this topic. This seems to suggest that rather than being the rare condition (<5% of males reporting ) Retarded/Inhibited Ejaculation is a hugely underreported male sexual dysfunction.

I hope sex therapists and researches are amoung those 33000 viewers because this problem is widespread and growing, with a shocking number of younger men suffering with it.

I also hope the pharmaceutical cxompanies take notice because I think that's where, ultimately, a treament will finally emerge.

In response to Funny Guy:

I don't believe that ending a 44 day masturbation abstinence will ruin my ability to orgasm with vaginal penetrative sex. I also haven't used any pornography either and my fantasies have subsided. When I did finally masturbate recently, there was no need for any heavy fantasies. I thought about one woman I know who is pushing 50 (I'm 15 years younger than she) when I was "getting it up." After that, I just found the sensations alone to be enough to feel what I believe was one of the single most intense and pleasurable sensory experiences I've ever felt. When I did ejaculate in record time, I said out loud "WOW!"

I sincerely doubt that I'm "ruined" because of ending my abstinence. Also, I have had experience in the past with abstinence; once I went for 2 months and afterwards I found the same thing: a surprising increase in penile sensitivity with far more sperm ejaculated. The big mistake I made at that time, I believe, was to get back to a daily routine of masturbating at least once a day. The numbness, the need for heavy fantasies and eventually pornography all returned within the first few weeks.

It's just not healthy to use a tight grip, look at air-brushed porn stars and jerk rapidly while masturbating with a pair of testicles that are likely exhausted from too frequent ejaculation.

And, I don't know if getting a prosthetic vagina will be any better than using a hand and/or pornography for your primary sex life outlet(s) either, funny guy. I sincerely hope you overcome your difficulties.

For me, I'll find out how much is too much masturbation now that I'm "re-sensitized", stick to a routine that accomodates my condition, use a lubricant and a very loose grip or even better, something I read in a Men's Health or Men's Fitness magazine, that tells how you can keep your penis sensitive during masturbation using both hands in a "prayer" but turned upside down -- then you use lubricant and thrust the inside of your palms. That way, it's mimicing a vagina's structure and is much harder to squeeze too tightly.

Of course, the #1 choice is, for me, to find a soul mate and enjoy her body and soul instead!

J. Dubb

P.S. I've also noticed that there is an increase in arousal AFTER my masturbating the one time after 44 days. I'm finding that I'm thinking of sex a lot and, interestingly enough, I'm finding a broader array of women attractive. I've lost a lot of my pickiness about sizes and shapes, that likely were partially caused by my viewing of pornographic movies every day.

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who has contributed to this forum. I have only just managed to come to terms with my problem and admit it to myself, although I suspect I have gradually allowed things to worsen for some period of time. Obviously, I think my problems need to be dealt with by someone who is atleast of some expertise in the area, and don't mean to substitute this message group for therapy. But I was wondering if I could call on the collective expertise of the group for some advice or feedback.

I am a 21 year old male and have used internet pornoraphy quite heavily for the past four years or so. I had used it occasionally out of curiousity prior to that, but in a bout of mild depression I allowed myself to use more of it in more heavy varieties (I would say that I came to use it maybe 2 or 3 times a day for atleast 5 days of the week, though on any one day I could easily abstain if I chose to). Early on in this four year period I started dating my first girlfriend. With the exception of one occasion, i was unable to ejaculate during foreplay with her (we did not have intercourse). On the one occasion where I was successful I had been on holidays and unable to access the internet (and as such pornography) and thus had enjoyed a week or so of forced abstinence. Eventually the relationship decayed, for reasons other than my RE. I have only had one brief two week relationship since that time during which I was sexually active on a couple of occasions. On the first occasion I suffered performance anxiety, and we engaged in mutual masturbation which (after some period of time) eventuated in ejaculation. On the next few occasions (after deciding to abstain from pornography for a period) ejaculation occured after some quite significant thrusting (thirty minutes being the shortest period of time and 1.5 hours the longest) and I didn't suffer any performance anxiety. I guess I am fortunate, in that on any occasion where I have set out to achieve an orgasm I have managed to do so, and at the very least i seem capable of doing it through masturbation in my partner's presence.

About three months ago made the decision to give up pornography for good. It was a relatively easy decision -- i wouldn't say I had an addiction because I found it very easy to give up. I would describe my behaviour as being more orientated towards compulsive self-comfort. I can't believe that I let it get to this stage but at least I have been able to come to terms with it and stop engaging in such damaging behaviour. I believe that it has been solely responsible for both my RE and my Performance Anxiety. My masturbation technique is also very rigorous, and I am thinking of abstaining from that for a period of time to try and normalise things completely.

My question goes out to all those previous posters who have mentioned the connection between pornography, masturbation and RE. Is their experience anecdotal as well, or can they refer me to articles written from clinical experience which point to this being a common problem? What are the long term prospects of treatment? I have read that these conditions are a difficult to treat and I have resigned myself to the idea that I may have done permanent psychological damage to myself. Part of me hopes for a solution though. I guess the one comfort is that at 21 I am still relatively young, and have atleast recognised the sources of my problems and confronted them head on.

Any advice or feedback from personal experiences or otherwise would be very much welcome.

Thanks,
Younger.

Jay Dubb, Good for you. I am happy for you.

Yes. We are hanging in there. It is our 12th day of abstinence. Hope it changes our lives too.

SAD GIRL-12 DAYS IS GREAT! DON'T GIVE UP FOR VALENTINE'S DAY!