Situational Retarded Ejaculation

Jacob---It depends on the masturbation techniques you used. A firm grip cannot be duplicated by vaginal or oral sex. And she would have to masturbate you using your own grip technique in order for you to orgasm.

Two weeks should do it providing there was no heavy porn use and you had a light grip style. Also if you have spent your life masturbating with few real sexual encounters then the process could take longer.

Ive suffered from RE ever since i had my first sexual encounter, i knew there and then it was a problem,and not just first time nerves.It felt if anything,rather uncomftable,and as many had said my penis felt "numb".I can however reach orgasm from masturbation,and if a partner gives oral sex,,i orgasm without any problem.Its really starting to get me down,and depressed,,the worse thing funnily enough (please dont take me for being arrogant,i just want to explain)is that i am a goodlooking guy and have a lot of female attention,,but keep turning down their approaches,,in fear of the inevitable..Its also terrible because I am the only person in the world who knows my condition
,,so all my friends cant comprehend why im acting strange with all these girls i meet,,and i most of the time end up lying and say i made love to Miss X all night long..Its so frustrating as Im a young guy (25 y.o.) and all my friends are doing what young guys do,,i.e, 1 night stands etc..I have been in bed with around 20 girls in my life only once have i had an orgasm,,through vaginal penetraction,,and I remember that nite so well,,i thought my problems were over,,only to find that next time i had sex with the girl,,my problem re-appeared..Im completey frustrated,,i recently met a girl who i fell in love with,and due to my problem,,i put off sex for as long as i could,,until last week she dumped me and then told my friend it was because she wanted to sleep with me,,but she thought i was too timid,to make the first move..So im really down in the dumps..I try to think of the reasons why this disorder has effected me,,the only thing i can think it can be,,is the fact that i guess i am a bit shy,and a little nervous with girls,,even though they do show an intrest in me..anyway i think us sufferers should write a petition to all the drug companies asking for research or even a drug that could help us...thanks for your time..

Both Sex Therapists and the drug companies are at a loss in treating Retarded Ejaculation, especially the most severe forms.

To say RE is caused by anxiety just scratches the surface. It is the origin of the anxiety that has to be discovered.

In my research I have found that slowly the medical community is starting to take more notice of RE and some studies are finally beginning to shed light on this sexual disorder. There is still much old and outdated information out there and many, many bizzare theories being touted as fact.

From my years of research I have come to the following conclusion as to one major cause of RE.:

Many men who suffer from the inability to ejaculate with a partner are those who are able to conjure up very real and vivid sexual fantasies, with and without the help of pornographic imagery, while masturbating. The ability to lose oneself in sexual fantasy makes self masturbation a prefered method of achieving climax.

The actual act of sex with a partner is nowhere near as stimulating for these men.

The need for companionship, loneliness, and guilt drives these them to seek out a partner and they truly believe they can and should have normal sexual relations with another person. When it actually happens however, despite having good erections, (at least at the beginning) the mind's ability to work the body up to orgasm is short circuited by what the man perceives, (sometimes subconciously) and as dramatic difference between what he actually prefers (sexual fantasy/masturbation) and the reality of real life sex. This sets up a deep anxiety which not only makes ejaculation impossible, but in many cases causes the loss of erection during vaginal or oral intercourse. In other words, sex in real life is rarely as stimulating and intense as his own sexual fantasies.

I have also found that this anxiety can arise later in life after years of what may be considered "normal" sexual relationships. A preference for masturbation and fantasy leading to Retarded Ejaculation can easily happen to married men or men in a long term relationship who grow bored of sex with their wife/partner and turn more and more frequently to self pleasuring for sexual relief.

As I said the above is but only one casue of RE but from what I understand it is a very common one.

SEx ED:

I agree to a point , I think the ability to, for lack of a better word, "Superfantasize" and lose ones self in the fantasy IS true of men with RE. But this doesn't explain the SITUATIONAL aspect of RE in some men. LIke the case that began this thread. Could it be that that guy and the almost 50% of men with RE who's disfunction is the situational type can only perform with someone who comes close to matching whatever fantasy they have while masturbating? I also think that the reason some men start out OK with a woman (man?) then suddenly aquire RE is that in any kind of relationship that lasts more than say, a few weeks, sustaining the fantasy aspect is pretty well impossible. Hookers, one night stands etc easily feed the fantasy. Actually having an ongoing one on one with someone is a whole different thing.

As a sufferer i believe a big part of the problem stems from anxiety;most of the articles ive read on the internet states suffers were usually subject to e.g. a relegious background,where the family had negative views towards sex,or had suffered from something in childhood that may cause the problem,,basically what im saying is all the so called reasons that "experts" of R.E. declare as being a cause of the problem,have absolutey nothing in common in my situation,my family were very "normal" so to speak about sex and i never had any situations when i was younger that could of sparked it to happen,,i honestly believe that my anxiety and nerves are a big part of my problem,and im almost 100% sure that if i could be a bit more laid back,,and relax and enjoy the situation im in,,i could come to orgasm as normal..Having read the posts in this forum,i have gained slight optimism,,now i know that there are diffrent forms of R.E. at the very least i can masturbate and orgasm,and if i am lucky enough to get oral sex,i also get to relieve my satisfaction..I know the one time i did orgasm from having vaginal intercourse i was doing it "doggy-style" so i guess it can be worked on..

Anxiety is the #1 cause of RE. Getting to the root of the anxiety is the first step on the road to a possible cure for RE.

Just got told by a third sex therapist that there is nothing that can be done about my RE. I have no problem masturbating to orgasm by myself but can't orgasm with a partner. I've lost at least a half dozrn relationships because of this before I was married and my marriage has been without sex pretty much since day 1. It was so stressful trying and trying to cum with my wife that each timed we tried at the beginning of our marriage the situation would end up with her in tears and me pissed off and masturbating by myself after she went to bed.

If there is nothing that can be done about this at least the therapists could figure out a way to teach us how to learn to live without sex in our marriage. She hasn't talked about divorce yet but I'm expecting the the subject to come up any time. We decided to put all talk of divorce off until I finished my latest year long session with the therapist.

I wish the drug companies would come up with SOMETHING that would help. I thnk I just need more arousal physically. It must have something to do with brain chemicals and the fact that I don't have enough or too much of one kind or another.

So many years of this has caused me depressive episodes, anxiety not to mention a stomach ulcer.

I just want a normal sex life with my wife and I just don't understand why no one can figure out a way to help me.

I think its interesting in a forum with other subjects such as premature ejaculation,that the RE subject has gone 20 pages long,it just shows that there are numerous men who suffer from this problem..On the other hand i was going to see a sex therapist but from what i read so far from other people here,there doesnt seem to be any point.As far as the drug/tablet solution,,i honestly believe if Viagra can help impotence,and certain drugs help Premature Ejaculation,,im betting someone will find something soon to help us out,,..but its just a case of waiting..I think also that certain people high up in the medical area need to know about our problem.As i said in the begining 20 page long posts,,show were not alone with this problem..

It's not just the drug companies and medical establishment who know next to nothing about RE. Most sex therapists use outdated therapies
such as Master's and Johnson's Sensate Focus which has been proved ineffective in treating most cases of RE. The problem is lack of research and the fact that RE is underreported by those who suffer with it. Because most men with RE can attain and hold an erection, sometimes for up to an hour, and can therefore bring their partners to orgasm, many just try to ignore the problem and relieve themselves through masturbation which almost all RE men have no trouble with.

But RE takes a massive toll in a man's self esteem, a partner's feelings of sexual rejection and many married couples who stop having sex altogether out of sheer frustration.

Wellbutrin does help some men and that is a good place for the drug companies to start. How it works in RE is not well understood and that should be where the research should focus.

I have heard of Wellbutrin,but im not exatly sure of how it helps,someone explain,,pleaseeee!!