Situational Retarded Ejaculation

Eternity etched in the dew of a moon-lit window
screamed out to me to please look out below,
but did I listen?
No...

It's never ceased to be
you, the aspiring being
of a loss for which I care,
but it's not to much to bare,
and I still feel you.

Your aura stains my eyes
with it's multitude of blinding colorful lights.
The structure is gone now
as I shift to avoid the rapturous winds of time.
Hideous limitations take my walls
and leave me with the foundation of memories.
Where are these so-called Gods?

I voted Shrink Wrap... If it wasn't for my shrink who knows where I'd be today..

I understand so much of what you are going through. I am due in August and things seem to be better. I am very emotional right now and I am crying a lot, which he cannot handle. He gets mad at me. We went to his dr. a week ago and his dr. told him he had to take his pills. Gave him more samples and another prescription (abilify) and he just went home and put them away. He refuses to take it. I have been trying to get him to understand that this has an effect on children and he continues to say that he wants the child to know the "real him". The "real him" is mean, vindictive and cold.
Is he okay with the baby? Does he still think it is not his?
I am so afraid that the stress a newborn brings, will make him fall off the deep end. Did you have that problem?
CP

Hugh Grant LOVED Briget's "Old Lady" Bloomers!

I've been having trouble orgasming with women ever since I started having sex 10 years ago. I can have an orgasm with some women but not others. One thing I don't understand is if RE is an arousal disorder then why do I never have any problems getting an erection which lasts for an hour or more? I feel very aroused at least for the first few minutes but I just can't orgasm.

It is thought that the "Automatic Erections" that accompany most cases of Inhibited Ejaculation are caused by a deep seated guilt the patient suffers for not being able to ejaculate with his partner. The fact that the erection happens even though the patient is no where near aroused enough to have an orgasm has puzzeled many sex researches over the years and it is still not well understood. An erection has always been taken as a sure sign a man is aroused. This is not the case with many RE patients.
Here's more info:

FROM:
http://www.sexualhealth.com/question.ph ... =1&topic=3

written by Dr Michael A. Perelman:

(sex therapist)"Bernie Apfelbaum correctly observed that some males appeared able to achieve erections sufficient for intercourse despite a relative absence of subjective arousal. Erroneously, these "automatic erections" were taken as evidence, by both the male and his partner that he was ready for sex and capable of achieving orgasm."

This might be of interest to some:

http://www.brainyencyclopedia.com/encyc ... drome.html

Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome
Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS) is the habit of masturbating in the prone (face-down) position. It causes severe sexual dysfunction in most males who practice it. A link between face-down masturbation and sexual dysfunction in females is suspected but not currently established.

TMS was first described by Dr. Lawrence I. Sank of the Center for Cognitive Therapy in Bethesda, Maryland in a 1998 article in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.

Males who practice TMS masturbate by rubbing their penises against their bedding, mattress, pillow, their hand, or even the floor. They do it this way because that's how they learned to masturbate as adolescents, or younger. A survey for an Internet site about TMS found that 61 percent of males who masturbate prone have severe sexual dysfunction, with the most common being anorgasmia (also called inorgasmia), which can be a complete inability to reach orgasm in intercourse, or the ability to do so after only a very long time (half hour or more). Half of TMS males have this problem almost every time they have intercourse, and another nine percent have anorgasmia most of the time. Among males who masturbate normally, only four percent have anorgasmia or delayed orgasm even most of the time.

Many TMS males also have erectile dysfunction. A third of them have erection problems at least half the time they have (or attempt) intercourse, while only five percent of males who masturbate normally do. Two-thirds of males who masturbate prone report having erectile dysfunction at least sometimes, while 86 percent of males who masturbate supine claim they rarely or never do. Most males with TMS can only have intercourse in the missionary position (if they can have intercourse at all).

It is believed that TMS does not cause physical damage, since most TMS males are able to be cured of their sexual dysfunction merely by quitting prone masturbation and learning to masturbate on their backs (supine) with their hand, which is the only way more than 90 percent of males masturbate.

A survey done for the same Internet site among women found that those who masturbate prone tend to have orgasm in intercourse less frequently than women who masturbate supine or sitting, but the tendency is not as strong as among males who masturbate prone. More study is needed among both men and women.

References:

Lawrence I. Sank, Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 24(1): 37-42 (1998).

External links:

http://www.healthystrokes.com

I've been dating a real cutie who I know for a fact I'm attracted to. I'm in my late 30's and never before experienced erection problems or ejaculation problems. Now I seem to be having mild problems with both. I read another website discussion on TMS that states the negative effects of that form of masturbation often do not show up until the man is in his 30's. Sometimes I need to reassure my girlfriend that it is not her (it's pretty much impossible for her not to feel that I'm not attracted to her when I'm semi-hard or can't orgasm), but in general things are getting better as our relationship develops because we've become more trusting and open with each other. It's sort of the opposite of what many of the posters have described here. If I kept jumping from one women to the next once the novelty wore off, I would never have experienced what I'm experiencing now. It's actually getting BETTER the more we know each other. Comfort, feeling secure, and lots of communication (we both have a good sense of humor about it) are key for us. It's very cool. We both almost gave up several times. So glad we didn't.

marko...I find it interesting that the LONGER you are with someone the easier it is to deal with the RE. I am just the opposite I NEED the novelty to get turned on enough to be able to orgasm. Besides once a relationship gets going and the RE starts they start asking questions and getting all freaked out about it which just makes things worse. I have been with dozens of women and I found that once the RE starts happening, and once they realize you have a serious problem they always bail out of the relationship anyway. No woman wants to be with a guy who can't cum. You seem to have found an exception to this and that's pretty rare. I hope it works out for you.

I'd just like to get some input here. My marriage of 8 years is pretty well sexless since I can't orgasm with my wife. She knew I had a sexual dysfunction and basically accepted the fact when the sex stopped soon after we married. But now she'd got us seeing a sex therapist who can't fix the RE but expects me to have sex with my wife anyway even though I can't ejaculate by any means with her. I don't think it's fair for me to have to do the playacting and go through the motions with her when I don't enjoy it. If fact I really dread having any naked physical contact with her. I find it very stressful and humiliating and it just reminds me about how dysfunctional I am sexually. But the therapist has taken her side and says I have to do my "duty" even though I hate it. I don't see why my wife can't just do what she's been doing, masturbating with a vibrator. Suddenly. because of this therapy that's not enough for her any more and it's screwing up what was a very good marriage in every other way except the sex part. Should I say yes or no to this?