Shame, worry and ocd over childhood experience

I'm struggling to cope with some thoughts I've been having. I've gone through bouts of this worry over the years, something will trigger me worrying about it and then after a while it'll subside but it always gets triggered again in the future. This time it was triggered by doing some research on the creator of a TV show I watch, There's been a ton of controversy over the last year about a book that the creator of the show wrote about her life. She has been accused of being a child molestor since the book has come out due to her describing some events that took place between her and her younger sister when she was a child. I won't get into the ins and outs of it, but it triggered me worrying about some sexual activity I got up to as a child. I was close to my cousin who is 2 years younger, I remember being about 7 or 8 and playing 'games' in my bedroom that involved us taking our pants off and hugging with our legs intwined. I was obviously just starting to be curious about sex so I don't see this as a big deal. However, what I'm so worried about and can't stop thinking about is that I also remember suggesting we play a game where I pin her on the bed by her arms, attempting to kiss her, and she has to resist.... I remember feeling satisfaction when I would manage to kiss her as she twisted her head back and forth trying to resist. I just cannot understand where I might have gotten the idea of this sexual violence from as a child... I come from an extremely loving family, I was never exposed to anything sexual before I was of age. I am so concerned that my cousin (who I am no longer really in contact with) might be as scarred by this as I am... I am so upset and worried that this is affecting her life, seeing as I was the one who initiated it, and I was the one pinning her down and playing such a sexually violent 'game'. She always looked up to me and I knew she would always do anything to please me so I feel disgusting thinking that I basically led her to take part in my abnormal sexual experimentation.. Today, at 21, I am in a healthy relationship and have a healthy sex life with my boyfriend, however I have struggled all my life with feelings of guilt about all sorts of things. I had a phase where I went on dates and got sexual with some people and I would end up going home and feeling such a sense of shame. I think I have ocd because I get these guilty feelings about different things into my head and they take over for a period of days or weeks, I constantly try to google what I'm feeling to try and dissipate the guilt.. I even went through a phase of worrying obsessively that I was sexually attracted to children...... And now sometimes when I'm out and see a child I can hardly look at them because I get this tingle and a shiver that makes me think I have a problem even though I am in NO WAY attracted to children or being with them or sexual activity with them. This hurts and pains me so badly because I dream of having my own children in the next few years, I know I will be a great mother if I can get past this worrying issue.
Any advice would be hugely appreciated.. I'm just feeling so upset and not in control of my anxiety right now..

I remember playing 'house' or 'doctor' as a child. I think that children role-playing as adults is part of growing up (or learning how to do what we perceive how our parents doing things).
It is normal and healthy as long as no one child gets distressed over the play-acting. I imagine it could get out-of-hand.
I think that you may have been passionate, but not intentionally violent. I wouldn't dwell on it as being a 'mistake'.
There is always one child the dominant and one child the submissive in a husband/wife or doctor/patient role-play scene. It can change when we take turns being the other character. It is useful to learn how we act as an adult and interact with others in a 'playing grown ups' situation.
Your taking over may have been a 'control' test to see what you were capable of or how the other would react to your assertiveness. I see no harm done.
If only our parents knew the level of play that we were capable of.
As far as I'm concerned, it is normal childhood curiosity. More here:
http://www.theadvocacycenter.org/adv_abusetouch.html