Advice?

Probably is not a sexual dysfunction perse but I would like to have some advice because it is something that has been bothering me for some time now.

I love sex and I am quite open to it but when it comes to the actually physical, something blocks me and I don't know why. I feel often reluctant in the actual act with my partner, and I don't think it's because he is bad in bed, I feel that it's something psychological. When it comes to the actual sex, I often prefer doing other things rather than having sex, or even masturbating sometimes it can intrude my daily routine. I feel like I am wasting time while I should be more productive, or simply I have much more urgent matters than taking care of the physical needs. So I often neglect it, even if my body wants it my body doesn't and I constantly fight with this internal struggle. I tend to have a busy life and most and often I don't have much the luxury to attend to those need or when I do, my mind goes to those things I should be doing.

One thing I would like to point out is but I never was a particular touchy person, my partner shows more physical affection than I do, I tend to get bored of it easily while he seeks more attention than I do. IT gets frustrating because I deny him of this need even when a lot of times I turn down on sex, I start feeling guilty.

Hi there, Idontknowhat.

I've actually experienced this before. I was craving certain things, but once the opportunity came, I was quick to back away. turns out I'm just a very shy and not so intimate person. How comfortable are you with engaging in sexual activity and intimacy as a whole, may I ask? you don't have to share as these things are personal, but I'm curious given the factors you have already mentioned.

perhaps you're just not a very intimate person? just a thought.

Hello corgis, thank you for taking your time to reply to my post ^^

As far as touching goes, I like back and foot messages but that's the two things I like most. My partner would most likely the one who requests a hug or attention, and he's more likely the one who wants to cuddle with me than I do, so it makes sense that I am not a very intimate person.

I am not particularly shy about sexual activities, but often I don't find it as stimulating as I wish it was and I don't know if it's because of him, me or both. I seem to find myself having different things in mind other then sex, and it may because I am busy and I have a lot of things in mind, that I don't give it as much importance as he does. I think my libido is so different from his, it's frustrating.

Idontknowhat wrote:Hello corgis, thank you for taking your time to reply to my post ^^

Hi again! you're more than welcome.

In hindsight, it does seem that perhaps your partner is more intimate than you are. maybe you can start to move forward from this now? it'll take time and effort, but it would be a shame to throw things away over such a minor problem. try to consider what the two of you can do to improve this situation and how this will serve as a benefit (of course, not only for yourself, but him also!)

Best of luck!