Sexually detached

I feel like I'm detached from my sexuality. When I was younger than twelve I just seemed to know who I was attracted to. When I was twleve I forced myself to be attracted to boys and not girls(I'm a girl). It was pretty confusing. I sometimes convinced myself that I changed. After that I tried to accept myself as gay. Everyone insisted I was just straight. That made me feel very stupid and worthless and it confused me even more.

I just grew more and more detached from my sexuality. Even when I want to feel attracted to girls I just can't feel it. I sometimes feel false attraction towards men. It was very disorienting. I still feel it from time to time, but it's not as disorienting. I still question whether it's false attraction or me denying my attraction to men. I often try to convince myself that it's okay to be bi, but I still hate the idea of being attracted to men.
I often see a lot of attractive girls, but I don't feel attracted to them. That makes me feel very empty. The only times I really felt sexual attraction was during a dream. I just wish I could feel it in real life. I sometimes think I'm somewhat asexual, but I don't want to be asexual. I enjoy the idea of sex too much. I'm hoping this is just a very bad OCD obsession.

I don't have anything to help really but just wanted to let you know I feel the same way. I'm 27 now and still confused out of my mind. I didn't have my first boyfriend until age 19 and I was with him for 5 years and never had sex with him. I tried so many times but I would clench up every time we tried. I loved him but I ended up breaking up with him cause I felt like I could never give him what he needed. Afterwards I kinda lost myself and started binge drinking, and thats when I had sex for the first time but I was blackout drunk and don't remember it, and for that whole year I had sex with numerous guys but every time I was super drunk. Now it's been 3 years since I've had sex with anyone and I just feel confused and worthless. Looking back I feel like I was always lesbian. Even in elementary school I would want to hang out with all the "pretty" girls and my first fantasies were of other females, but I never thought much of it back then. I just knew that I was supposed to like boys. Which is just confusing cause I find both genders attractive, and I feel like I like girls more. But when I try to think about it to in depth I'm not sure I can picture myself having sex with another girl. Ive also tried going out with a girl a year ago and it felt awkward. I felt really stupid like I didn't even know what I was doing hanging out. Sometimes I feel like I may be asexual as well, but then I go back to feeling like I'm lesbian and then sometimes go back to thinking maybe I'm straight.

I don't understand why you guys are confused... most people these days are accepting of lesbians now (finally)....

And even if they're not, why does this matter? Who cares... if someone doesn't like you for just that you're a lesbian then they're not someone who really cares about you or is a good friend to you.