I'm not really sure how to feel. Sex used to be such a fun, pleasurable, satisfying experience for me. I have been diagnosed with and suffered from OCD for the majority of my life. Recently, ever since my obsessive compulsive thoughts took hold of me it just seems like I've lost all interest.
What's worse, is that these obsessions are sexual in nature. I thought they were gone, but they've just gone into hiding. I'm worried that, even though I am still sexually active (with a couple women, actually), I'm beginning to enjoy it less because my fears are coming true... that I am becoming something I know that I'm not. I guess that's the nature of OCD and anxiety, though?
I mean, I did start taking prescribed LORazepam and sertraline. It's possible that my libido has been decreased as the result of those prescriptions. But... still. After I have sex with these women I know, I don't feel that familiar sense of accomplishment and gratification that I used to. Now it's almost like "going to work." It's just I do the deed, finish, and then I get distracted and do other things and almost seem like a cold hearted a-hole.
What do you guys think? Is it the medication possibly? Maybe it's under-stimulating simply because I have had SO many sexual experiences in my life, and I am currently with multiple partners, that I need a bigger or different rush to actually enjoy my sex life again?
I don't want it to be because I am turning into my obsessions... I don't want to turn into my obsessions. I know that OCD has a really funky way of destroying sex life, but now sex seems so mundane and banal.
Any insight would be helpful. Personally, my therapist is a great person for insight but she's somewhat on the religious side so she's very quick to say "You should wait til marriage." Which I obviously didn't do already, so that sort of insight is almost irrelevant to me. Anyway... I'd love insight from someone who may have gone through the same thing.