frustrated

I am a 59 year old male. I was married for 34 years and divorced about 3 years ago. For most of our marriage, our sex life was good. It took a little extra work and Viagra in later years but generally our sex life was good. About 2 years before our divorce, my ex-wife developed cancer (which thankfully she survived), but obviously our sex life went to almost zero for at least a year and never really was the same after that. And obviously there was no sex during the divorce period. So I went 3 years with little to no sex, "taking care of myself" during that period.

I've been with 3 partners since my divorce. It was exciting being with someone new after 34 years. None of them were one nighters. I'm not that kind of person. And I when I am having sex with someone I am monogamous. Thats just me. All 3 partners were good. The most recent being a year and half relationship which was aiming towards marriage but never got there. The sex with her was awesome.

Here is my problem. When I was with my ex-wife, everything worked fine. But when I resumed a normal sex life 3 or 4 years later, things changed. I get erections but they are not firm enough for penetration, which had never been a problem before. In my post marriage, we've practiced, oral sex, mutual masturbation, and just masturbation. In the end, I almost always have an orgasm, but its not without alot of work. I was kind of scared in the beginning that women would be turned off by my having to masturbate while they watched. But its not been a problem. In fact it has been a turn on. I've watched my partners masturbate in front of me as well and its been a turn on as well. But I truly miss traditional intercourse. I miss the feeling of my penis being inside of a woman and ejaculating inside a woman. I've tried cock rings and they help a little bit. But I still can't enter a woman. I've come close but never really been able to do it since I've been with a new partner. My parnters have all come away satisfied as I bring them to orgasm in other ways. And I come away feeling satisfied too because I too have orgasms.

But I miss traditional intercourse. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Your question screams of masturbation technique especially "cock ring" something about it is using more pressure/friction/force than a woman's vagina can duplicate, it may not be exactly like prone but it's the same, any masturbation technique that applies more force that your g/f can it is obvious, your penis becomes desensitized and dependent on said masturbation technique. hi blood pressure, and diabetes, anti depressants/anxiety and other meds, smoking all big ones effects of meds and healthystrokes for your masturbation technique you know the drill

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/al ... x-problems

Although about 90 percent of males masturbate by hand, about 5-10 percent masturbate by lying face down and thrusting the penis into or against the bed, pillow, or something else. Although masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, prone masturbation causes severe sexual dysfunction in most males who practice it. This web site describes prone masturbation and the problems of its practitioners and offers case studies and approaches to becoming cured.

healthystrokes.com

kevs099 wrote:Your question screams of masturbation technique especially "cock ring"

Although about 90 percent of males masturbate by hand, about 5-10 percent masturbate by lying face down and thrusting the penis into or against the bed, pillow, or something else. Although masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, prone masturbation causes severe sexual dysfunction in most males who practice it. This web site describes prone masturbation and the problems of its practitioners and offers case studies and approaches to becoming cured.

healthystrokes.com

Not to say that you are prone masturbating it's that you are having symptoms of prone masturbation (unnatural pressure of friction) the approach to becoming cured is the same

What's wrong with masturbating prone?

Nearly all males agree that masturbating face up is a fun and delightful practice, but masturbating face down puts excessive pressure on the penis, and especially on the base of the penis. These sensations are not easily replicated in conventional masturbation or in sexual intercourse. This is not analagous to intercourse being performed face down, as most males do, because the partner's body provides more resistance than the objects a male who masturbates prone uses to thrust into or against. Prone masturbation can reduce the ability of a male to have normal sexual relations. A survey conducted for this web site revealed that males who masturbate conventionally have sexual intercourse 6.6 times more often than males who masturbate prone.

The most common problems males who masturbate prone have are delayed orgasm or a complete inability to have an orgasm during intercourse (anorgasmia). Many males who masturbate prone also have trouble getting erections. It's a common experience among males who are used to masturbating face down to be unable to have an orgasm even after engaging in sexual intercourse for over half an hour. The female partners of these men find this outcome unusual and often wonder if they are to blame for the man's inability to reach orgasm through intercourse.

healthystrokes.com

I guess my point is being missed. The quality of my masturbation is fine. Both with and without a a partner. When I receive oral sex from a partner, it is fine too, because you don't need a rock hard erection for that. But I can't get hard enough for vaginal penetration and thats what frustrates me. I was with my most recent partner for a year and a half and we had sex hundreds of times. And it was wonderful. Best I ever had in my life. But I was never able to penetrate her vaginally. Came close a couple of times but not like when I was 10 years younger. Ten years ago, with the aid of Viagra, I could get as hard as I was when I was 20. But I can't anymore. The cock ring was for the purpose of keeping me harder by keeping blood in my penis. It did make me harder. But not hard enough. If this is just a natural product of aging, then I can live with mutual masturbation and oral sex. But I really long for the days when I could have penetrative intercourse. Is there anything I can do?

frustrated50 wrote:Ten years ago, with the aid of Viagra, I could get as hard as I was when I was 20. But I can't anymore. The cock ring was for the purpose of keeping me harder by keeping blood in my penis. It did make me harder. But not hard enough. If this is just a natural product of aging, then I can live with mutual masturbation and oral sex. But I really long for the days when I could have penetrative intercourse. Is there anything I can do?

It could be a combination of a number of things such as age, health and medicines taken. I'll give a couple links from psychology today about ED and Meds, Diabetes, hi blood pressure and smoking all huge erectile killers. I wish to speak to you in private about the cock ring and more

Drugs and sex problems

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/al ... x-problems

Erectile drugs that may kill you

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/al ... t-kill-you

Better erections without drugs

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/al ... hout-drugs

Viagra not most popular

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/al ... not-viagra

Keep in mind that the cock ring was a sex TOOL. Not a sex toy. I used it for only one purpose and that was to stay harder. If I could stay hard without it, I wouldn't have tried it. The one I have is nothing more than a silicone ring that I stretch to slide over my penis and slide down to the bottom of the shaft. Very simple.

My partner who I was with for a year and a half (its now over) and I had bodies that didn't seem to fit together very well. She was very tight and the angles of our two bodies didn't make a good combination for penetration with my not so hard penis. I think that given a bit more time, we might have been able to make it work. But the truth is that we were both satisfied with our sex life the way it was. We are not baby making age so penetration wasn't needed for that purpose. It was all very satisfying----I just wanted to go that one extra step with penetration.

My previous 2 sex partners were soon after my divorce and I think I was just a little bit inexperienced at that point. Its much easier to talk about this with a partner than I thought it would be. When I was with a new partner for the first time in over 30 years, I didn't know how a woman would react to me masturbating while she watched. But every partner I have had has liked it and I like watching them masturbate, too. This is an experience I didn't have with my ex wife when I was married.

frustrated50 wrote:Keep in mind that the cock ring was a sex TOOL. Not a sex toy

I was concerned about the cock ring because I had an injury from a SEX TOOL the results of which I don't care for discussing on the board

You really can't hurt yourself with the cock ring I have. No metal parts or anything like that. It's just a silicone ring that you stretch over your penis. There is a spot on it for a clit vibrator but I didn't even use that. My partners saw no need for it.