Need tense muscles to cum, plus no morning wood

I don't know when it started, but sometime during my adolescence I stopped getting morning wood. And now, at the age of 20, I need to tense my muscles in order to cum. And my fantasies are based off of messed up fantasies of dominance and submission. So is it that because of my emotional disconnection, I need to tense my muscles and have these messed up fantasies in order to ejaculate? I never get fully hard either, but I think the issue is more psychological.

Whenever I start to get excited, I notice some muscle or muscles in my body tensing, which may be the cause or effect of it, and if I relax them, the excitation is gone.

Is this issue related to my emotional disconnection? Would practicing masturbation with relaxed muscles help me?

Anyone? Am I the only one who gets this?

*mod edit*

Not the only one my friend. I have noticed some similarities. It is more enjoyable for me as well, but not needed... For the morning wood part,it depends.
I have also noticed that i dont get wood when waking up when im stressed and have a lot on my mind.
There is also some emotional disconnect on my side as well...
Every thing about sex is quite psychical,so dont worry about your body,its all fine.
For me that mental side of the play is quite stronger since i like to be dominant so that gives me power.

Dont worry,just be careful as some tensing may make you hurt your muscles by incident(happened to me a few times).

Hope this helped,even if just a little bit. Dont worry but try to realize the reason for this,if for nothing else just so you can learn and understand your self better... Who knows,you just might surprise yourself

iHateHappiness wrote:Whenever I start to get excited, I notice some muscle or muscles in my body tensing, which may be the cause or effect of it, and if I relax them, the excitation is gone.

I am a female, so you may disregard what I have to say, but when I was masturbating, and when a guy was playing with me, I always used to tense my muscles because this enabled me to, relatively quickly, have a full body orgasm, which, I suspect, is what guys get most of the time. After I started to develop sexual dysfunction due to a head injury, I tried relaxing my body (cause I read somewhere that this would be beneficial) and that did....stuff all. So I do not think anything wrong is happening when your muscles start to tense up, just keep going and you should get that wonderful full body orgasm, that everyone is chasing

iHateHappiness wrote:Anyone? Am I the only one who gets this?

My ex never got/gets morning wood, and through our 4 year relationship i never seen him have morning wood either, i often worried if there was something wrong but then i started thinking he was stressed at work or poor circulation or something. he wont go and see a doctor about this as he doesnt regard it as a problem as we are both single now...though since talking about it recently i have give him a few pointers about his porn and masturbation and he seems to be able to get a sustainable erection now

As a female, i also am the same as maree12, i hve to tense myself to bring myself to full orgasm
i think (male/female) we have to relax our selves and not treat this like "i need orgasm" get the job done and carry on with our day like its a chore ..i think we are damaging ourselves by doing it ..ive notice since not having a sexually active man i had to please myself a lot more than im use too doing, and now i feel that im not as "sensitive" as i was so therefor takes a different more forced approach to getting my full orgasm.