Suddenly having Erection Problems

Hi all,

Please bare with me. This bascially started last week, my wife and myself have been trying to conceiev/ivf etc with no luck which has proved very stressful. Last weekend we were advised these were 'important days' to try. This caused me panic and we tried about 4 times and I was able to get a brief erection by 'forcing it'... Not sure how to describe but by tenseing down on the area I Was able to get an erection but it lasted only briefly and soon when limp again and was unable to have sex. This very much frustrated my wife and was quite unpleasesent. Later on and I have no idea how I was able to do it - huge relief, not fun, just relief

The next day I just could not get an erection at allno matter what and since then (a week) I Have had no interest or excitment at all which is unusual and just stresses me more.

I have also been bad with diet and exercise and now very worried about having no erections at all. i have stopped all porn as I read that can help but the whole thing is now very concering.
Im sure this is psychological and it causes me great anxiety when i think about it.

Can other any tips to relax so it can happen naturally like it should?
Thanks

The first thing I'd try is stopping masturbation as well as porn. Give that a few weeks, ideally a month or more. And see how it goes.

But the second thing is to agree a Plan B in advance with your wife. Trying to conceive is a HUGE pressure on both of you. So I'd suggest that you look together at alternate means of getting your sperm into place. My guess is that if you have a clean jar and turkey baster by the bed. And you're both willing to use that if need be. That you'll feel less pressure to have vaginal sex overall. Which then means you can relax more and enjoy what you do feel like doing.

I'd then suggest just fooling about with oral sex and mutual masturbation. And see how things go. Then Plan B is there to use if you don't feel confident in going for penis in vagina. There's zero difference to your conception chances. It takes the pressure off you to perform. And off your wife to "make" you orgasm. The two of you can get back to having fun together without impacting your fertile times with stress over this.

Thanks for the reply Ada.
So you Have any ideas on how to stop worrying and feeling anxious about it happening again, obviously forcing an erection doesnt work but now im terribke it will just happen again.

Well, the Plan B I mentioned above.

And in general. Take ALL the pressure off. The next time you're both in the mood. Agree with your wife that you'd like to just play together rather than have full sex. Then focus on her pleasure 100%. Do the stuff she likes best and concentrate on that. Ignore what your cock is doing. And then finish in a way that's nice for you, but still isn't PIV [penis in vagina. Overly medical language for something so fun.] A blow job, or hand job, masturbating on her, whatever you both enjoy.

That's super difficult to do. But the idea is to be able to trust your erection again. There isn't a pill or herbal remedy for that. It just takes some time and seeing that everything works just fine when it isn't under pressure.