Very Little Sex Interest With Wife

We are a recently retired couple in our early 60's and have always had a very satisfying sex life, that is, until we moved into our remote mountain home.

We used to be swingers, mostly swapping with couples, but have had a few experiences with straight MFM encounters. We have looked in our area for other couples, but to no avail. We are too remote. So we advertised on swinger sites we've used before and found a couple of guys that were willing to drive the 80 plus miles for a meetup and threesome. This was erotic in the past, but anymore, Meh! I didn't get much out of it and the wife didn't either, so we dropped out of the swinging scene.

The problem is, my wife and I are together at our home all the time. We may go days without seeing another person, especially in the winter time when the weather is bad. We get along terrifically and never argue, but our sex life is almost non-existent. She has more interest than I, but not much more.

Because we're together constantly, it's more like we're brother and sister, than husband and wife. Because we've been in the swinging lifestyle, we have very open communication, so we've talked about this problem, but have reached no conclusions on how to rectify it. Watching porn together would probably stimulate me, but she has no interest in porn. Been down the Viagra/Cialis road, that does nothing for me, and I'm OK in the testosterone area, so it comes back to the psychological area.

This is not a marriage breaker because sex is only a part of marriage, but it's frustrating. Any ideas?

My wife and I are finding that our desire for sex is waning too (after 48 years!), although my own desire is about five times greater than hers. Nevertheless, I am having having trouble getting my engine running. The only thing that seems to work for me is actually deciding to engage when she is willing. All it takes is a bit of mutual fondling and kissing, and I'm ready to go, and we both often have bigger orgasms than we've ever experienced. My wife's orgasms last longer than ever before as well. Sexual relationships are so very individual that I doubt anything I could say would apply to you or anyone else, but just "doing it" regardless of initial feelings has the best chance of success for us. I hope this response at least offers food for thought.

Other

It's up to the individual couple, but since you are posting here, there must be some frustration on your part. I'm practically sexless, but mentally I want to satisfy my wife and let her know that I love her. We seem to have accepted that sex isn't part of our lives anymore, but I still want to want it and am frustrated. I remember how good it used to feel to have a desire for my wife and express it physically. I'm plagued with illness that has robbed me of my sex life, and I would really like to be how I was. I like to see her and tease her by taking a chance to look down her top, grabbing her leg or patting her behind, but I really wish I could do more than that. Viagra and other meds don't work on me,, either. I'm going to have to find some magic beans or something.