Is it possible to lose sex drive after a heart break?

Hello, everybody. I'm 28 years old and I'm a woman. I'm a medical doctor. I know it's a long text but please I would really appreciate if someone could help me with that.

I've had a relationship with a narcissistic man who in my opinion had sadistic tendencies as well, 3 years ago. I fell in love with him because I was really naive at that time and I didn't realize he was a narcissist and a sadist. After a while he began revealing his true self, and long story short, he broke my heart in the most painful way I've ever suffered. After he's done that he went NC and I practically begged for him to talk to me again but he simply ignored me and found another girlfriend. Never talked to me again.

After that I've had a few short episodes when I was attracted to another guy, but I've not had a relationship ever since. 3 years ago, shortly after the episode I would feel attracted to this or that guy when I went out to party but that's it. I didn't even kiss anyone after this traumatic relationship.

But then things got worse. I haven't felt any sexual attraction for men whatsoever for 1 year and a half. I may find them handsome and even interesting , I can even acknowledge a potential partner but I have absolutely no sexual attraction. No goosebumps, no sexual arousal, no urges, nothing. I don't feel like kissing or hugging a guy. In fact most of the times I try not to be physically close to men. I used to greet my boy friends by kissing them in the cheek, I don't do that anymore. Sometimes I even avoid eye contact. I haven't gone out to clubs or bars for 18 months. I don't feel like doing it. I've been browsing websites about Asexuality, I've reached the point in which I question myself, am I becoming asexual or not? It's been 18 months! And I feel absolutely NOTHING! I've even lost my empathy for men. I don't find them nice at all. They can be handsome sometimes but my feelings for a man nowadays are pretty much like the feelings I'd have if I were looking at a nice car or a beautiful landscape. No sexual drive whatsoever, no affection. 18 months so far.

I think I'm over that guy and I'm definitely not suffering because of it anymore, at least consciously... But I have some doubts:
1. Do you think this sexual numbness is really related to my traumatic breakup? Because that's the only reason I've found that could explain it, before that happened I had a very strong sexual drive.
2. Is it possible to lose all sex drive and sexual attraction after a painful breakup?
3. Will I eventually have a normal sex drive again?
4. Is this a sign that I'm not over the breakup, at least subconsciously?

Vinylvanilla wrote:Hello, everybody. I'm 28 years old and I'm a woman. I'm a medical doctor. I know it's a long text but please I would really appreciate if someone could help me with that.

I've had a relationship with a narcissistic man who in my opinion had sadistic tendencies as well, 3 years ago. I fell in love with him because I was really naive at that time and I didn't realize he was a narcissist and a sadist. After a while he began revealing his true self, and long story short, he broke my heart in the most painful way I've ever suffered. After he's done that he went NC and I practically begged for him to talk to me again but he simply ignored me and found another girlfriend. Never talked to me again.

After that I've had a few short episodes when I was attracted to another guy, but I've not had a relationship ever since. 3 years ago, shortly after the episode I would feel attracted to this or that guy when I went out to party but that's it. I didn't even kiss anyone after this traumatic relationship.

But then things got worse. I haven't felt any sexual attraction for men whatsoever for 1 year and a half. I may find them handsome and even interesting , I can even acknowledge a potential partner but I have absolutely no sexual attraction. No goosebumps, no sexual arousal, no urges, nothing. I don't feel like kissing or hugging a guy. In fact most of the times I try not to be physically close to men. I used to greet my boy friends by kissing them in the cheek, I don't do that anymore. Sometimes I even avoid eye contact. I haven't gone out to clubs or bars for 18 months. I don't feel like doing it. I've been browsing websites about Asexuality, I've reached the point in which I question myself, am I becoming asexual or not? It's been 18 months! And I feel absolutely NOTHING! I've even lost my empathy for men. I don't find them nice at all. They can be handsome sometimes but my feelings for a man nowadays are pretty much like the feelings I'd have if I were looking at a nice car or a beautiful landscape. No sexual drive whatsoever, no affection. 18 months so far.

I think I'm over that guy and I'm definitely not suffering because of it anymore, at least consciously... But I have some doubts:
1. Do you think this sexual numbness is really related to my traumatic breakup? Because that's the only reason I've found that could explain it, before that happened I had a very strong sexual drive.
2. Is it possible to lose all sex drive and sexual attraction after a painful breakup?
3. Will I eventually have a normal sex drive again?
4. Is this a sign that I'm not over the breakup, at least subconsciously?

The answer is YES. Sex drive can be affected by psychological trauma (eg heart break) or in combination with other physical illnesses. You should know if you have those physical problems.