Relationships Possible?

I want to know if loving relationships with a woman is still possible for ma 30 year old man with premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and a 3.5 inch penis. I want to hear from anyone going through the same thing, especially from women.

I was dumped and kicked out by my girlfriend (now ex), and my ex before that because I couldn't perform well. I've been depressed and alone for years because of this.

I understand it is very frustrating for the woman to be worked up and be disappointed anyway. Kinda like pre heating the oven, putting your meat in and it turns out you don't have enough gas to cook with.

A typical session is me getting ready to penetrate, frantically jacking off trying to get hard while she lies there with her legs spread open looking around the room waiting in vain, then i say "sorry its not working", then she turns away from me and i lie there still trying to get hard. Its embarrassing, humiliating, it hurts like hell.

Well only a very small percentage of us women can orgasm through just vaginal intercourse (I sure as hell can't), so if the only issue you have in bed is performing vaginal intercourse reliably, then frankly you still have a **** ton to offer in the bedroom.

For example, many women love:
Heavy Petting
Dry Humping
Oral Sex
Kissing All Over
Toys
(and then many women have some kind of kink for which size is totally irrelevant, like D/s stuff or talking really dirty)

If a woman is a rational, kind person, then I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that she wouldn't be turned off by you having certain difficulties with sex, but rather she'd be turned off by you being blatantly insecure and upset, because her empathy would absorb your feelings and she'd just be feeling bad with you. But that doesn't mean she's upset at you.

I also highly doubt that you were dumped / kicked out just because of you penis size or ED/PE. I find it way, way more likely that the relationship went south for other reasons (possibly related to your emotional issues about your sexual dysfunctions) and either you blamed the relationship going south on your sexual dysfunctions, or the woman did because she was too cowardly to tell it like it was. Because ffs, if you really love and care about someone romantically, you don't dump them just because they have some issues in the bedroom.

As far as size, some of women are smaller/tighter than average, ourselves, and the G spot is only a few inches in, anyway. Now not gonna lie to ya - someone women do prefer bigger, but they are an exception. Most women really do care way more about how you rock the boat than how big your boat is. Seriously.

I think maybe a big part of your anxiety might come from (rationally) not thinking it wise to start talking about your PE/DE on the first date, but then it becomes like a.. "waiting for the other shoe to drop" sort of scenario where you get terrified that she's going to be freaked out or disappointed (am I right?) and this would theoretically actually make your PE/DE even worse.

How do you feel about casual sex? Does it go against your personal ethical codes, or would you feel okay with it? (Of course, provided that it was done safely and respectfully for the sake of exploration and fun)

The reason I ask is because I think it could possibly do you some good to get some experience and thus confidence under your belt. It's okay to be totally honest and upfront when it comes to casual sex. It'd be okay for you to be like, "I struggle with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, so looking for a nice, patient, laid back woman to experiment and fool around with." That way you don't have any sense of 'doom' hanging over you from the start.

Another option if casual sex is not something you would be okay with, is to just break the rules of dating as far as talking about sex right upfront. If you explain it the right way, you'll be fine if the woman is a laid back and nice person (which is what you want anyway, presumably). You just have to explain that you want her to know upfront that you have (insert issues here) because you respect her enough to not let her get emotionally invested without knowing what she'd be in for if the dates turned into something more, and then keep your cool and explain with confidence (even if you have to fake it) that if she's not interested, you understand, no hard feelings.

The above will convey to her that
(A) You respect her enough to be straight up with her
(B) You're not making some lame as hell pity play to get in her pants

My 2 cents

Casual sex? There's nothing freaking casual about sex with me. Its all planned, anticipated, premeditated. And yes i was dumped because I could not perform. Their words. I tried to act cool with it, but deep inside i was crying. How am I supposed to be confident enough to Approach someone for a date? I can't help but think that one thing can lead to another and i will disappoint like always. This thought is burnt into my mind. Only an angel could love me.

I think what CopperMoon is saying is that casual sex might help you. The excitement of having sex with no strings or even with a stranger might get you more excited and also maybe will take the pressure off (because you won't have to see them, again).

My thoughts are that 30 isn't that old. There is time to get help. Have you tried medical help? There could be a physical problem. And if a woman is kicking you out for those reasons you don't really want to be with her. Those girls sound like shallow bitches.

depraved_niceguy wrote:Casual sex? There's nothing freaking casual about sex with me. Its all planned, anticipated, premeditated.

Yeah I feel ya, but see that's probably a huge part of the problem. What I'm suggesting is that you allow yourself to experience just the opposite at least once, if not a few times. Casual sex is casual. You're completely upfront and honest and don't give a **** what anyone else thinks, because they're just other one-night-stand adventurers like yourself, not actual lovers or anyone you even ever have to see again. Have you ever browsed the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist? People letting their freak flag fly all over the place on there, because it's just casual sex. You'll find people with every possible insecurity ever on the planet, and you'll find everything from practically-porn-stars to total virgins trying to get experience. There would nothing weird at all for you to post an ad saying you have PE/ED and just need some patient, laid back lady whose cool with trying stuff out and helping you experiment.

depraved_niceguy wrote:And yes i was dumped because I could not perform.

Okay sure, maybe that's what she said, but it wasn't the truth, is what I am saying. Let me translate it for you:

"I'm dumping you because you have erectile dysfunction."

=

"I'm dumping you because I didn't care about you in the first place and I've now realized that you're no longer useful to me."

So no, it's not that "only an angel" could love you. Just how about not dating total *****es?

I think ultimately something like therapy could maybe help you, and definitely talk to your doctor to rule out other possible causes. But in the short-term, what you need more than anything is to reality-check yourself and chill out. The PE/ED is a huge deal in YOUR mind only, but not in any sane, kind woman's mind. So you have to start tackling it in your mind instead of focusing on a woman's thoughts. Because 50 of us ladies could get on here and reassure you that's okay and you wouldn't believe any of us.

I don't have any trouble "performing," and I could easily have vaginal intercourse, but my wife doesn't like it. She found it painful, and, actually, I sometimes did as well. So we started having "intercourse-less" dates, with lots of touching, kissing, masturbation, mutual masturbation, anal play (not penetration), and things are just fine. In fact, my wife, at age 70 has recently begun having two orgasms within a few seconds of each other.

For some reason, our society, most likely thanks to Hollywood and porn, has come to equate sex with intercourse and only intercourse. Even kids believe "it's not sex" if it isn't vaginal intercourse, so they are busily engaging in oral sex and anal sex so they can remain "virginal". How incredibly silly, and ultimately destructive.

Other

I have a micropenis (about 3" hard and very skinny) and also suffer from premature ejaculation. I have had only two long term relationships but both last years. Sex was difficult and a lot of times very frustrating but my partners stuck by me. I agree with the other responses that you just weren't with the right women. Sex is only part of a relationship and if your partner truly cares about you she will work with you. It sounds like your ex's were real biatches!