22 year old girl with no sex drive at all

Hi
I am a 22 year old woman who has no sex drive at all. I am not on any medications. I use to be extremely sexual until I turned 20 and my sex drive has disappeared. I am never horny, and never crave sex. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and I am extremely attracted to him and he knows how to get me off, but I never want to have sex with him, we have sex like 3 times a month. when we do have sex I often have anxiety and get frustrated because I do not like being like touched on my genital, boobs anything i just get uncomfortable ... which was never a problem. I have gained weight over the passed couple of years and i don't like it but i don't think that really has to do with it. I use to be on Birth control but no longer am stopped 2 years ago.... I just want to want sex again. and like have any sort of sex drive and enjoy sex throughout the whole thing not be freaking out about getting off. WHAT DO I DO

At 20, any number of issues can develop that might affect your sex drive. Your body, and especially your brain, are still going through big changes. Having no sex drive is a symptom of something else. It may be physical or psychological, or both.

Does your family have a history of anything that might indicate a problem: Mental illness, physical issues etc?

Anxiety can shut down our sex drive. Depression can shut down our sex drive. Not wanting to be touched and gaining weight may be other symptoms of a greater issue that ties in with a lack of sex drive.

What would I do?

Try and take an overall view of what your life has been like over the last two years, particularly emotions, attitude, relationships, sleeping habits, eating habits, etc. Try and look for changes that occurred after 20, about the time your sex drive dropped. Look at your family history.

Make some notes, and then see your physician.

I don't think it will help to try and force your sexual desires. That probably won't work, and it may make things worse as it will ball up more anxiety and frustration.

One other thing. Without getting obsessed about it, try and gauge how you feel about other sexual things, such as fantasies, how you might be aroused by attractive men you see, masturbation (decline? lack of enthusiasm). Try and see how these things have changed too, over the last two years.

Lastly, is could be temporary. Maybe there is something happening that you don't even know is causing a bit of higher anxiety, leading to the sex drive being affected. Like, perhaps at 20 school got that much harder and triggered the kind anxiety that affected your sex drive. That's just an example.

good luck,

Otter

I had something similar happen to me when I was 22 years old and have attributed it to a combination of being severely depressed and having a selfish boyfriend incapable of fulfilling my emotional needs. He would basically guilt me into have sex with him which made the problem a lot worse. Everything that Otter has asked you to ask yourself is something you need to ask yourself. When you did enjoy sex did you feel powerful or did you feel like you were surrendering power in some way? Has your partner maybe put you into an uncomfortable role? Have you discussed this with your boyfriend?

crm99 wrote: I just want to want sex again. and like have any sort of sex drive and enjoy sex throughout the whole thing not be freaking out about getting off. WHAT DO I DO

Stop thinking.

Sounds like you're disconnected from your body and feelings?