I hate my sexual fantasies.

zakisbak wrote:I know femdom is chosen by the man but my perception of it is that it is hateful towards men and I gather that most women who (professionally) practice it have psychosexual issues and really crave a real loving relationship with a real loving man.

I've been reading about BDSM a lot lately, and this is a misconception I had as well. Dominant / Submissive relationships do not necessarily entail pain, degradation or humiliation. All D/S really means is that one person takes the lead during a sexual encounter. Some people prefer having D/S sex simply because they're both really polite and indecisive and having a designated leader makes things easier. Many couples who do this switch between dominant and submissive roles on a regular basis.

A FemDom is no more inherently sadistic than a film director or a game designer. Basically, you clearly explain your limits to her, maybe you give her a rough outline of your fantasies, and then she works within those parameters to design an experience for you. That experience may not involve pain at all. Maybe you're blindfolded while she draws peacock feathers lightly across your skin. Maybe you're gently bound with silk ribbon while she strips tantalizingly just out of reach. All of it involves lots of communication and reassurance, and anyone can halt the action immediately with a safeword.

zakisbak wrote:Your fantasies depict men as either as dangerous predators or pathetic wimps.

Yeah, I don't like the "pathetic wimps" thing. One aspect of BDSM I've really come to admire is that it gives both genders a chance to try on a role they might not otherwise take. Men don't often get to experience the feminine aspects of sexuality: the feeling of being ravished by a partner who can't resist, the peace of surrender, the sweetness of feeling sexually pliant and vulnerable. Men are expected to be strong, hard and in control all the time. With a female dominant they can have a different experience. It's super healthy, very brave, and in no way pathetic.

Imagination and fantasy is a gift to be enjoyed not feared and hated, If you had any idea what was going on my head when I masturbate It would look like you were on a Disney cruise. If everybody acted out what was in their mind the world would be hellish and difficult to survive. It's only when you can not control your urges to act on it in real life is when it becomes immoral or abnormal. Does your spirituality call for controlling your thoughts and mind also?

For all the reasons you stated is what makes it so hot, though. Just give in to your primal desires.

And to the person saying "porn is all anal now, hardly and vaginal porn unless it's a lead up to anal" this is false. You seem to have a bit of an interest in degrading anal. You seek it out more than vaginal porn hence it seems so common. (I don't know how to reply directly to people this is my first post.)

sherpaderp dingo wrote:For all the reasons you stated is what makes it so hot, though. Just give in to your primal desires.

Well hot for the guy, obviously! For the girl (in my experience) it means:

1. Enemas
2. Pain, tearing and blood (which is why many pornstars are all doped up on Oxys)
3. Feeling like you have to take a $#%^ the whole time
4. Crapping out cum for the next three hours

I'm not saying I'll never try it again; with the right person, I would, but he'd need to have at least a passing interest in how it felt for me. Here's a thought, being as you're a guy and you have a prostate, why don't you try it? You're far better equipped to enjoy it than women are.

sherpaderp dingo wrote:And to the person saying "porn is all anal now, hardly and vaginal porn unless it's a lead up to anal" this is false. You seem to have a bit of an interest in degrading anal. You seek it out more than vaginal porn hence it seems so common.

Hahahaaa I see what you did there! But no. I can't tell you how much it has changed in the 20 years I've been looking at porn. Anal used to be niche. Painal and rosebudding didn't exist. I can't really link to anything here but srsly go to any major porn site and look at the top videos -- it's everywhere.

I'm not saying there aren't girls who genuinely like it. But I've met so many guys who just expect it now and will make you feel like a selfish jerk if you don't want to. Then girls feel like they can't say no. I think it sucks when people are having sex they don't want to have.

aaff91 wrote:I'm not talking about the time to start having sex, I'm talking the effects of masturbation. sometimes it can cause hard-to-treat or lifetime damage to our sex lives.
Again I hate to be negative energy but I myself am damaged by masturbation. that's why I strongly advise ppl not to masturbate. you can read my story if interested.
sexual-dysfunctions/topic132126.html

How r u damaged by masturbating?.. im curious because sometimes i rather masturbatr than have sex

I totally agree with Calilly. I have rarely watched porn, so I'm no expert on it except I have studied what porn addicts and experts on porn addiction say about it. Anal sex as presented on porn sites almost always involves the woman being degraded and humiliated, if not tortured. In fact most male with female porn is all about male dominance. Nowadays, as one expert pointed out, the final "shot" is usually the cum shot in the face. NOT enjoyable for the average woman in real life unless those women have also been watching hard porn for years too and in so doing have lost their self-respect.

To the original poster, please stop watching porn. Your fantasy life will return to normal within months which is imagining things you love, not things you hate. In which other area of life will you have people telling you fantasies you hate are fine? (EG. Will they tell you imagining you got a dead rat instead of diamond ring as a gift is normal? Imagining your house went up in flames instead of seeing your dream house finished was a great fantasy? )

Btw, I have talked to A LOT of women about sex in my lifetime, and I know of only a very small number who enjoy anal. Those who tried it? Once was enough.