how to enjoy sex... help?

I am not currently sexually active right now, but have been in the past with a couple men and i must say i dont get anything out of sex. it doesnt bother me, but i dont get an orgasm or the least bit aroused. it sucks because i want to enjoy it. the person that i had sex with the first time i really loved him and we were together for a long time. but i still didnt get anything out of it. i dont know if this is a disorder with something not functioning right or if it is caused by me being raped and i jsut space out during sex. but i seem to be fully aware of whats going on so i dont think i am just spacing out.

I want to help but in all honesty i think u should see help and therapy. I really feel they may be able to help u heal a wound that u cannot do on your own. My best to you. take care

I am in therapy trying to deal with the rape and abuse, but i havent brough this problem up to her. in a sense it seems kinda stilly but then it doesnt at the same time.

she is obligated to not release any info...if you are in a small town or afraid of it getting out drive further. It will really help you to speak and get it out. It is the reason for your issue now. Its like going to the dr and feeling sick because of something your not telling him/her. They cant read your mind and to me therapy is kind of useless if you dont feel you can disclose this. I reall do wish you the best and as hard as it may seem it will help you if you open up.

did i say that i couldnt bring it up with my therapist? no... i said that i havent yet because it hasnt been an issue because i am not sexually active right now. i do have a hard time trusting people, but i do trust my therapist. i do not live in a small town and i am sure as heck not afraid to get out there. i have opened up to my therapist about everything else, but this came up because i am starting to get out there and meet guys more... and not for sex, to have a relationship and if it lasts then maybe sex.

u mentioned that u hadnt brought it up yet so yes that may have been misinterpreted as being hard for u to or that u cant yet.....I want to help and am willing to hear ya out. I hope everything works out for you and you can be happy with relationships. My best to you Renee!!! Keep in touch. Kendall