What could make a child this way ***TW***

So here goes. Age 7 had oral with another 7 year old. Began acting that out with dolls. Age 10 my 9 year old cousin bribed me into playing a humping game. I then humped my sister once. Fast forward to now. I find young girls and teen girls very pretty. I have impulses to touch people and its not for sexual gratification its just I feel this overwhelming anxiety to touch people or myself. I dont act but want to know what could have made me this way. It can be anybody elderly people, people may age, younger people, the dog anybody Im near but like I said its not for sexual gratification and I dont act.

Your childhood experiences are sexual through an adult lens, but to a prepubescent kid, they may have seemed like forms of play. I'm assuming you didn't have negative feelings during or after. You could have developed a fondness for that kind of physical touch, but still in a childlike way.

I have autism and crave the sensation of a tight squeeze, but I'm not always comfortable seeking it from other people, and it wouldn't be appropriate in most cases. There are lots of aids available for people with autism who feel the need to squeeze: weighted vests/blankets, squeeze machines, body socks, and more. Personally, I like to be cuddled up with a large plushie. There's something for everyone.

I don't know if your impulse only applies to living things, but some of the products above might be worth a try!

Well I must of had some bad feelings about it because I acted out both things and felt extreme anxiety about it. Its also not about craving intimacy. Its about controling urges not to touch someone sexually in an aburpt kind of way. So im just confused as to why im like this.

-- Thu Apr 26, 2018 3:55 pm --

Well I must of had some bad feelings about it because I acted out both things and felt extreme anxiety about it. Its also not about craving intimacy. Its about controling urges not to touch someone sexually in an aburpt kind of way. So im just confused as to why im like this. I began having sexual feelings for people at age 8. Is that normal? So i guess its a little of both feeling like i will just reach out and touch someone sexually(men, animals, boys, etc and then sexually attracted with women. Im very confused.

Well I must of had some bad feelings about it because I acted out both things and felt extreme anxiety about it. Its also not about craving intimacy. Its about controling urges not to touch someone sexually in an aburpt kind of way. So im just confused as to why im like this. I began having sexual feelings for people at age 8. Is that normal? So i guess its a little of both feeling like i will just reach out and touch someone sexually(men, animals, boys, etc and then sexually attracted with women. Im very confused.

Do you find yourself having other things that are obsessive in nature? Such a checking locks, windows, etc, over and over? Or having other unwanted thoughts?

Yes

Without looking thru your post history, if you exhibit possible OCD style behaviours, and you say that the urge to touch isn't sexually motivated... then why think it stems from your original post in this thread? I sometimes get the strange urge out of nowhere to kiss people. It's a common intrusive thought for pwOCD, the urge/fear to do something socially unacceptable/inappropriate, such as touch someone inappropriately, shout out obscenities in the wrong setting, expose oneself, etc. It's nothing we ever do, as far as I know, but it does pester us, if we let it.

I dont think its all Ocd. Maybe parts of it but not all. I have acted out things I experimented with other children with younger kids when I was twelve but it wasnt for sexual gratification it was very impulsive but Ocders dont act I did. Plus I have some genuine sexual thoughts about kids and went into a room once because I knew a child was changing but I didnt realize I did it till after the fact and again it wasnt about sexual gratification. In all honesty I dont know why I am like this.