The worst part about being a sex addict is

The worst thing about being a sex addict or suffering from hypersexuality is trying to explain to my boyfriend that it isn't him. I try to explain it to him and he takes it the wrong way like he can't satisfy me. He is so wonderful with me and is attentive and, if I didn't struggle with this I would be totally satisfied and I wouldn't have a problem. The first thing on my mind when I wake up is my man, the very second is sex, it seems like I am totally consumed by it and it's depressing me as I feel like I can't tell him what is happening to me. I've tried before and he just takes it the wrong way.

He works so hard and I can't handle it when he turns me down (PTSD trigger from my past) I can't mentally seperate him saying not tonight vs I don't want you period. I have a great life and don't want for much, except for sex and to put it all on him just is not fair. I try not to think about it and I try to not want it and it just seems like I am always at that state of being toyed with for a long time and then just left. I was doing good and then a friend of my bfs had a sex swing they didn't want and dropped it off at his place. That has some how triggered a huge sexual reaction in me as I can't see us having the time and the room to set it up. But I can't handle the rejection if he can't do it when I want to, so I just hang out and his finger tips and silently beg him to have sex. That's not on him that is on me, he isn't a mind reader and I can't find the words to explain what is happening to me. Hell I don't even really understand what is happening to me. I keep asking myself is it possible to deal with this without stopping sex all together?

Its amazing to read posts from others and realize that there are others who struggle with this, and have the same dilemma. To those who don't have this overwhelming drive, it just seems that you are just not exercising self-control. But when your first thought in the morning and last thought at night and most during the day are dominated by the desire for sexual contact, discussion and pleasure it can be a depressing state. For years, I thought getting married would solve my problem, then when married found out that the monster was still there. In the end thought that a ###$ buddy would just help alleviate the sexual need, but after an ill-advised affair that was supposed to be just a physical thing, it is clear that there is no simple answer to this problem. While I recognize that groups like SAA or others may help, the problem is that I enjoy sex and while I know it needs to be in the right context and moderation, going cold turkey, etc. has not helped and even made the desire for it increase.

I can understand and rationalize that the roots are in being molested by a female cousin at a young age and having sexual thoughts when I was not mature enough to properly handle it, but how to function as an adult and control these constant sexual desires frustrate me.

The worst part of being a sex addict is that I have fooled myself into thinking nothing is wrong with it or has been wrong with it. From a young lad, I have been overweight. I have lost weight and gained my entire life. I am in my mid 40s, financially successful, and a halfway decent looking Latin guy. Whenever I get into shape I feel myself wanting to have sex, masturbate, and watch porn even more. Women tend to notice me even more as well. I notice that I always cheat during these periods more. I had many sexual partners before my marriage and some after. My wife and I have cheated on each other before and we have recovered. I found out about her infidelities and it, for some strange reason, devastated me even though I had cheated before this. She has never found out about my indiscretions and I never want her to, but I cant stop cheating on her. She has not done anything wrong and has been very good to me. The reason why I do it is because I am bored and want someone more sexually adventurous and someone who desires me. I am sure every guy wants this but since my wife and I have no children I have somehow convinced myself that what I am doing is ok, and it's not. The guilt is horrible. It is not worth it and I start to hate myself but I keep doing it. Am I just a perpetual filanderer? Is it better to just live with it? Or do I try and curb it? I want to curb it but the mix of desire and existential crisis of realizing that I am going to die one day, makes it incredibly difficult. My wife does not know about the very raunchy affair I am having and I have to say that it felt good in the beginning and the sex is utterly amazing but the guilt is killing me. I know this sounds really stupid but I really love my wife and do not want to lose her but my needs are being fulfilled now with the combination of her and the affair. Lost....