Masturbation + PTSD & ...

Hi everyone.
I am a 24 years old young male.
During my childhood I was very alone and shy. despite this matter, my first sexual experience was too early, when I was 5 years old I was playing with my friend. she was a girl and that day I discovered the sexuality. I had no other experience until age 15, when I become a pervert or I should say a Masturbator. I was been affected by my pervert friends, and finally one day I toke off my little sister's clothes and toched her genital. immideatly after my lust was gone I blamed to hell and become upset so much.I just only was 15 back then.
I did never do that with my sister again but I watched many pthc movies for years. after sometime I discovered that I have ptsd I begun to therapy but it didn't work. the pills only were mading me sleepy. and now after two years I no longer watch pthc movies but still I am doing Masturbation and also I am seeing some Hallucinations which I now they are not exist and not here.
The daily Masturbation has made me very weak, Physically and mentally. It's been almost eight years that I am doing Masturbation which I can't resist more than 48 hours or in a few times more than a week against it.
I feel too guilt, tired and hopeless. I don't wanna remember that memory but I can't. I think I'll go to hell after my death.
I am single and never had girlfriend.
please help me.

Hi guy,

Thank you to sharing your story with us, you've make the good descision.
I was like you during my childhood, I know how is your feeling.

I know why you are afraid to date with girl.
I'm going to give you an advice, go on website for meet girl, it more easy for man like us. If you made it seriously I'm pretty sure you can dating a girl within a next month.
You have to just make what you need for having what you want, don't forget this.

You are young, you have a lot of time for finding a love, don't be too upset about that, just let you the time on go and different website.
I hope this mess can help you.

Hallucinations are unusual in relation to masturbating. Have you told anyone in real life about them?

Masturbating can be a healthy part of life. It doesn't have to be a bad thing to do. I wonder if your tiredness and weakness are from something else. And because you're feeling that guilt from the past. You're blaming masturbating.

You are not going to hell for what you did. No loving God would be so cruel. You regret what you did. You have never done it or anything like it since. You've been making up for it since then. I'm an atheist so I only know from what I've read. But this just isn't how eternal life works in most religions. It is possible to be forgiven.

Time for a "belief reset" I think.

1. You aren't a pervert, nor do you have friends who are perverts. Perverts, in fact, do not exist. People with different sexual interests exist, and some of them engage in illegal activity, but that makes them criminals, not perverts. Human beings engage in sexual activities, and if those activities don't hurt anyone, they certainly aren't perverse acts (nor are they necessarily "good," either). They are just sexual activities which some people want to call perverse because of their religious background, while other people just call them what they are, sexual activities.

2. Hell (and Heaven) are inventions of man, not God, who is himself an invention of man. So you won't be going to Hell, or Heaven either. You do have the ability to make your life worthwhile (Heavenly, we all hope) or not, in which case it would be Hell on earth. You may need some help along the way, but you won't find that help by labelling yourself as a pervert.

3. Masturbation is a normal human activity. Almost everyone masturbates, and if they don't they probably need to talk to a psychologist or a physician. I have masturbated several times a week for nearly all of my life since puberty, and that's a long time! I don't believe I'll go to Hell because of it, because (of course) I don't believe in Hell. Masturbation has nothing whatsoever to do with good and evil. Hallucinations, however, are something to be concerned about, at least to the point of talking with a professional about them.

Other

Myotherlife, well said! Really!!