venting and cry for help

I join this group to support my spouse. I am trying but I feel that I am at my wits end. I know that is not far. I have a few questions that I hope are not TMI. This is a vent and a cry for a help.

Why stay up at night instead of during the day. I use to think that cause no one up so you dont have to deal with any people. You have melotin next to the real meds. You dont have a problem taking them. But the melotin in less i give it to him he does not take it. If you say talk it before bed he never goes to bed. Why is it so hard to sleep at night?

My spouse self pleasures any where from 1 to 6 times a day. I have read that bipolar people can be sex addicts. Can a man get a addict to getting off with him self. If I try i can play with him 1 1/2 hr and he does nt get off. I am so trying to understand. We argue about this before. I told him that I thought he was having affair with his hand and he told me the affair with me. Since the hand was there first. I am trying to understand I dont know how to anymore. He self pleasuriong daily... watching porn.. and we are not having sex.

Good morning. First you have every right to feel frustrated. You are right in feeling that he is having an affair with his hand because he is. Most people don't link having emotional communication to someone other than their partner as an affair. The "emotional affair" is usually how the physical one happens in the first place. This applies to his hand in same way in this case. What he has done is found a fantasy or desire you are unaware of and has not emotionally communicated it to you. Now it's most likely something he feels he won't be able to communicate to you without it going bad in your understanding of it. So now unfortunately he has wired himself by thinking about this fantasy so much and his ability to "finish" that it's the only way he can. Example of this is a husband who doesn't understand his excitement of the "sharing" or "cuckold" fantasy he has. Along with the most likely bad miss interpreted reaction of his wife in communicating this fantasy he may be worried it would cause one day the real thing. So in short you need to find out what it is that his hand knows and you don't. There are ways to find out or guide him to communicating this to you without him realizing it. I can give you some suggestions on how to do this if you want. Be strong and positive you never know this could be a very good thing to have happen. It might just be the event that started a better communicating and sexual relationship for both of you.