Boyfriend masterbates next to me in bed

My boyfriend masterbates in bed next to me. We have been together for almost a year, healthy sex life between us but he does this from 1-4 times a week. He has a high pressured job and I admit I can be grouchy after work but we always go to sleep happy with our day as neither of us can sleep unhappy or stressed.
I always wake up whilst he is doing this and his phone light is always on but I wake up embarrassed and scared, normally wanting to cry. I have pretended to roll over a couple of times to see what he is watching/looking at on his phone as when we first met he said he wasn't a big porn person which worries me slightly more as he is a good looking guy! I'm a lucky girl but I make sure I show him and tell him everyday how lucky I am to have him. We have a completely honest relationship and tell each other everything!
When I roll over he just stops, turns his phone off/changes screen or rolls over. He always falls asleep after me but he also lies when he has been on his phone and says he hasn't when I'm asleep. I don't know how to bring this one up with him or if it's worth bringing it up? Should I feel as ashamed as I do?

Yes it's worth bringing up. But it's nothing either of you need to be ashamed about, as I see it. It'd be OK to say that you've woken up because he's doing it. And would he mind popping into another room if he gets the urge. [Which is less likely to wake you up.]

You don't need to feel ashamed. The vast majority of men masturbate as do the majority of women. Whether or not he's looking at porn. [Or reading 50 Shades of Grey. Or anything else!] This doesn't reflect on you or your relationship at all. As long as you're happy together, it's fine. If you weren't happy, eg if your sex life takes a nose dive. But he's still busy by himself. Which can happen with a porn / masturbation addiction. Then that's when discussing his habits becomes more serious. As you've described it, he's just horny. And rather than bothering you for a quickie. He's taking care of it himself.

PS If you're happy for him to approach you in the night for quickies instead. Then do tell him He might still want to wank. [He doesn't have to think about anyone else getting off or how long it all takes.] But at least you're both clear on the options. And you get uninterrupted sleep!

Yeah this is completely normal. Us guys like jerking off..even if we are getting steady sex. As the previous person stated its something we do and dont need to worry about how good we're doing it and if the other person is getting off etc. Now just to be courteous he should be going to the bathroom or sumthing to do it. Since the shaking wakes you up. And yeah if it makes you feel uncomfortable and you have a good line of communication with him, then go ahead and bring it up. How else is he going to know what you're thinking?

Oh and P.S... ALL GUYS LIKE PORN! My guess is that you guys are a younger couple, because that line about "I don't even really like porn" is the oldest line in the book. In fact guys that say stuff like that are the worst ones because they have all there dirty porn and secrets all cooped up and eventually it reaches a boiling pint if you don't release and the next thing you know he's blowing 50 guys a day in a bus station bathroom just they'll tell him hes pretty. As a guy we think that we have to make you believe that we aren't perverted idiots so that you will let us touch your naughty places...so we will tell you whatever we think u need to hear to get your panties off. It isn't typically until we all get older that we really understand stuff like this is totally natural and there's no need to make false statements like that.

Hope any of my nonsense helps! Good luck!

I was terribly embarrassed about my masturbation throughout my teenage years and well into my 20s. I was married at 23, and continued masturbating frequently but secretly despite a nominally good sexual relationship with my wife.

About four years into our relationship, I finally decided that I had to "tell all." Actually, I didn't give away all of my secrets (my fetishes had to wait another 35 years to be revealed!), but I did tell my wife about my masturbation. She was surprised, but only because she wasn't aware that men continued to masturbate even when they had fairly regular sex with wives or girlfriends.

I'm still a bit embarrassed by it, believe it or not, but it seems that I just don't have a choice. My wife is fine with it, and even encourages me when she isn't in the mood. My biggest problem (asides from more or less constant angst because of my fetishes) is that it's hard for me to masturbate when my wife is in the apartment, unless it's a mutual masturbation thing.

Other

I don't understand the lack of transparency here. Maybe because it's just your boyfriend and you aren't really serious?

Maybe it's because I'm 44 and more mature? I've never had a girlfriend or a wife. But if I did, I'm being brutally honest. If I meet who I think is Ms Right I'm not holding anything back. I'll tell her about the prostitutes I've done, even if it may drive her away. A real man doesn't have anything to hide. If you really want to be the rock of any relationship all your energies have to go into grounding yourself and being there for your partner, not playing games in bed.

Lj1991,I am sorry for you. I had a boyfriend who was like that. Not in bed, but he would talk about masturbating all the time and I was always like "I'm right HERE! What about ME?". He would do it (talk about masturbating) in front of me, my friends, his friends when I was there! It was embarrassing to me. But I thought about it and it wasn't MY fault, it was HIS. The same is true for you and your boyfriend. That isn't your failing in anyway. I agree with the other people on here that say that guys do that (masturbate, look at porn) and that it is normal - and it is! But it is rude that he does it with you right there.

And Myotherlife, you SHOULDN'T feel embarrassed about masturbating, it really IS normal, even when you are married or in a relationship. I read an article online about how masturbating (for guys, at least) in evolutionarily necessary because it "clears away" old sperm. I have always felt that masturbation is good and needed because it is "practice" and keeps you "in shape" sexually. I think that is it really good to masturbate, as long as it doesn't hurt you or take away from you life (which, unfortunately, for me it does do that).