Masturbation Whenever WHerever

Quickshot,

Maybe if you talked more about your struggles rather than waiting for people to weigh in on the risque details you've provided, it would offer a more open discussion for people to want to respond. I'm going to side with prairie gal on the fact that you haven't really posted anything but your exploits, and the fact that you want people to respond. With your recent view counting post, it seems like you are more focused on getting views like a YouTube video more so than you are actually doing something proactive towards your own personal recovery. Best of luck.

What steps are you taking to stop besides posting all of your exploits in great detail here?
... which I doubt helps you stop.

Well said PG.

I think that many posters here do the same sort of trolling for people who are having the same kind of sexually maladaptive behaviors in an attempt to convince themselves that their behavior(s) are not really a problem.

That being said, I am sympathetic to QShots. His behavior is not really harmful, but it is at the far end of the normal/acceptable range of activities and will eventually cause him problems. My guess is that he is experiencing some deep emotional problems that he may not even be aware of.

Thanks for the stir up,

I want all to keep in mind that posting the details was not something that entertained me, but more so the more detail I added the more I realized how strongly rooted this behavior had become.

One thing is for sure when I posted this I was already on the road to recovery in some way because what pushed me to come here was the following :

At a student job outside of town where I spent my summer, I had really reduced this type of urge and even more so it had not occurred until one day the urge tipped over. I walked into the secretary's office while she was out talking with another co-worker and was able to get the job done in one of her desk drawers and walked out with a smile. This time it didn't really hit me like "damn you did it again" but when I repeated the act the week after (all this is prior to my first post) in another secretary's office while she was out for the week on vacation I slipped into her office and did something similar the actual act was exciting, no one was hurt and it seems no one noticed but when I came to repeat the act at the end of the same week the door was locked. I was shocked it felt like it was real all of a sudden because all the guilt I had pushed away had suddenly rushed in, WHAT IF that door was locked because someone knew or noticed? Needless to say I felt like $#%^ all day and came home and signed up to this forum.

For those wondering my path to recovery, it has already taken place I just wonder HOW FAR its important to recover let me explain :

Since that day I decided nothing like this would ever take place in a public area and nothing like this would ever get in the way of my future plans and career (getting caught at work would probably have done that). And as much as it sounds "unreal" I haven't really had the urge since then it's like part of me had sort of tossed aside the fact that getting caught was possible, now that its real I'm no longer interested at all.

To explain what I meant by "how far", yeah ok, the public part is gone and all that non-sense but one thing I still have trouble controlling the urge of is in a place where I "CAN'T" get caught at all and the biggest situations for me occur at my girlfriend's house when everyone is sleeping if I'm alone on the couch watching late TV and so is one of her sisters sleeping on the other couch, it has happened about twice that I will masturbate slowly and silently and once out of twice I actually got up and ejaculated very close and it felt like the biggest rush of all times...

Yeah its dumb, yeah its probably gross to many people's eyes I guess I'm just ashamed of how stupid that would look from the outside if someone found out. My girlfriend is not aware of these specific events but knows because we've spoken of it, that I have already acted on such urges in the past and she didn't really react much more than ask me why which I couldn't really answer..


Thanks for reading up,
QS

This is something I can relate to on some level. I discovered masturbation at an early age as well, around 8-9 I think. I did it way too often for many many years. Often 6+ times a day. I also used to do it in public in a discreet way. I was young though and at times was not as discreet as I thought I was. I used to do it during class many times a day surrounded by other students and teachers. In the winter I would put my arms inside my jacket and do it while walking around, even in places like the mall where I was surrounded by people. Also at movie theaters or anywhere else I could get away with it.

At some point I was pulled aside by a teacher and questioned about it. I was embarrassed for having been caught but instead of stopping I would just go to the restroom to do it. As I got a little older though I stopped doing it in public and continued to do it often in private. Still to this day, many many years later I am turned on by the idea of sex and sexual acts in public. The thrill of doing something wrong maybe?

I'm not sure how or why I eventually stopped but with stopping for me came a lack of interest in sex. Normal sexual stuff doesn't turn me on at and I struggle with that now to the point that I barely masturbate or enjoy sex at all anymore. It's unfortunate but I accept that what I was doing was unhealthy and a bit weird so I'm ok with it for now.

I'm sorry that I can't really offer any advice. I can't relate to the desire to ejaculate on things since I am not a man, but I do feel that in general I understand what your going through and can relate in some way. It's not often that I can discuss it with anyone because most people think it's crazy so I've learned to keep it to myself. It's refreshing to know that I'm not totally alone though.

Hi there,

Thanks for that reply gazpachosoup,

Reading through that made me remember I actually did the same thing before I started to ejaculate!
In class I would take advantage of a big sweater I wore on colder days to reach my arms in and masturbate under my coat (younger is like 6-7 years old tops) though at this point it wasn't involved with OTHER people to the point that I wouldn't even worry about someone noticing.

One teacher did at one point, similar to you, come see me and ask me what it is I'm doing alone in my corner and while she was questioning me I didn't stop doing what it is I Was doing and she just walked away I never really knew if she saw or figured out, she never really spoke more of it if she did and neither had my parents if ever she had informed them of it... So be it!

I feel your thoughts about normal sex, though normal sex DOES still turn me on I don't get the same rush.

The act of Ejaculating on objects and girl's thing's has reduced a lot since I've spoken here but this forum isn't all about pretending things are always good, I think part of the challenge is also to admit when you've skipped out of line. And yes, lately I have done so once or twice, when I sleep-over at my girlfriend's house and I come home kind of late and I know she's sleeping and won't be up for sex I get a lot of fun out of sneaking really silently into either one of her sister's room (there are two of them) and I will masturbate silently and picture myself leaving a messy load on a part of her body but then as I've explained before I chicken out at the last second and just aim somewhere safe but still get that rush from doing it and then I start to freak out about it being discovered, what if she wakes up what if she hears, smells or just feels something different and decides to light up the room to see?

Anyway for those who've been down such a path I can say the following : Having the opportunity to do it as often as I please since I'm up at my g-f's a lot, I can say the desire to do it has worn out slowly without desiring to go any further its like its a stupid fetish that I am slowly getting over and the only way to get it out of my head was to do it enough times to stop fantasizing about it.

Thanks for your inputs!

-- Mon Sep 29, 2014 1:22 am --

Just an add-on to the previous post :

I used to get really upset about teenage girl's underwear and would get turned on about having them in my possession (I didnt collect them but just stealing a pair once or twice in my younger age made me feel like I was taking part of that girl home as if I had a VIP access to what your sexual counterpart smelled and looked like and I got over that fetish quite quickly after satisfying it I guess some things in life just need to be done to get over them, and as far as all this is concerned I'm aware its quite a bit borderline, but part of me knows no harm is done to anyone and that none will ever be and that satisfies me in a way.