Compulsion to perform oral sex. Warning: Might Offend

by **ebo** » Sat Jul 22, 2017 5:33 pm

For me this has to be one of my biggest problems, occupying most of my thought processes. I am married, an older man with grandchildren. Before getting into the mindset, let me describe what happened. I went to Starbucks and cruised this not particularly good looking man, but he appealed to me. I smiled at him, as he was passing through, and he smiled back. Then I saw him look back, as I did, which kind of indicated some social clue. Then we sat down . I kept trying to see if he ever looked up at me, and it didn't seem as if he did. After a long time, he appeared to go out, and I thought that he went home. After a long time he reappeared, and left through the front. II got up and discovered that where he went the first time was really a way to the men's room, and not an exit. He was in there for a really long time, maybe even a good 20 minutes, and in retrospect thought, that perhaps he was waiting for me doors ajar, waiting for bj. I felt tremendous regret about not being more perceptive, for a lost opportunity.

However my defensive rationalization went , like this: It's better this way, because of my proclivity to go obsessive about unprotected sex leading to possible HIV infection, even with very low chance of acquiring disease. But its he trigger to an obsessional need for repeated tests.

Also, apart from a purely pleasurable point of view, doing men appears to be simply a be a psychologically addictive pleasure, for reasons unknown. However, the feeling is overwhelming, and the desire for mastery over myself is very pressing , do basically from a need to practice an occult belief.

As a matter of fact, my wrong interpretation of the social clues, may have ,unknown to me, deliberately misrepresented, so as to follow a deeper, more substantial need.

But it is as if I am torn by various psychic forces.

Can anyone have any inkling of what is going on ?

NEPhilly wrote:I read your post and I have the SAME kind of compulsion to perform oral sex on men I don't know. My compulsion started when I was in my 20's, and I believe I understand why. I watched a lot of porn in xxx adult bookstores, and was constantly seeing closeups of girls performing oral sex on guys. The guys in this porn usually treated the girls roughly, using bad language, ordering them to do things, humiliating them, until the guys would cum in the girl's mouths or on their faces or bodies.

At first I identified with the guys when I watched these films, not because I was anything like them, but only because I was straight and it excited me to watch them get oral. But eventually, I started to identify with the girls and imagine myself in the female's place, instead of in the male's.

I also once heard a friend's girlfriend say that when she performed oral on a guy, she felt that SHE was in the position of power, not him. She said that she had his manhood between her teeth and while she would never hurt a guy, knowing she could made her feel power. Also, she said that she felt power knowing that performing oral on a guy and making him orgasm was giving him the greatest pleasure he could have.

So I know that my compulsion to perform oral on guys that I don't know, hearing them verbally humiliate me and order me what to do, having orgasms in my mouth and on my face and body, all comes from watching porn. That's why they need to be strangers too, because the guys in porn are strangers, and when the porn is over, I can go back to my real life. The first time I gave oral to a guy was in an adult bookstore booth, and I did it to satisfy my curiosity of what it would be like. But then I was hooked and kept doing it.

And I also agree that the thoughts of doing it, the anticipation before I do it and the fantasizing after I do it, are much better than the actual act. But I also experience huge amounts of shame at what I've done and that I've enjoyed any part of it.

It sounds like my compulsion is very similar to yours.

I'm sad to say that I relate to pretty much all of this. I think I might really be a sex addict & i'm super sad about it

by **Somersguy** » Tue Mar 07, 2023 1:32 am

I sucked a man for the first time when I was 50. At that time, I figured it was a one time thing. However, within a few weeks, I kept thinking about what I had done, and wanted to do it again.
Back then, it was easy to find guys who wanted sucked off on Craigslist *mod edit*. I was sucking cock about every other week. As time went by, I had more and more desire for sucking men off, and was sucking a man every weekend.
I'm 69 now, and am sucking 2-5 cocks every weekend, and several during the week. I have three regulars I usually suck off twice a week. I don't know if I am addicted to the cock, or the semen. Some of the men act dominant, but I feel no humiliation when I look them in the eye, and take their cocks in my mouth. I love doing it, and feel no need to change my ways.

Ric

by **TrytofindmywayTRUE** » Sat Feb 17, 2024 12:47 pm

First of let me say that I am oh so grateful to the brave ppl who have came out in this forum to speak about and help me accept that I am not the only one with these thoughts and fantasies. I thought that maybe there was something wrong with me. I was never sexually abused as a child or at that a teen. I had one experience when I was placed in a group home that I believe triggered these urges. I had a roommate named well say Mike and he always watched porn and he would always tell me to sit next to him. He asked me if he masturbate was I going to tell. Of course me being young the answer was I wasn't no snitch. He would masturbate with me sitting next to him and I wouldn't say nothing. He tell me if I wanted to I could masturbate as well. He has a pretty big penis. He always watched girls giving oral. I don't remember the exact incident but it was a bet I bet him for something he had that I wanted and he refused. What I was offering want with the same. I didn't want nothing else. Ihe made an off hand remark the only way he'd do it was if I lost I gave him oral. I agreed and he still didn't want to make the very because he knew that I wouldn't do it when the time came.. I promised that I would do it. And he said how was I going to prove that I want lying and I said that I would masturbate him . Which I did. Then for good measure I licked his penis. I ended up winning. But that night he called me into the bathroom and he was standing there naked with fully erect penis told me it wasn't fair because though I masturbated him that didn't prove that I was going to perform oral. So I had to prove it. Right there I did it. And almost every night after. Sometimes right after school. He told another kid in the home and the kid after black mailing me had me giving him oral as well. I didn't feel guilty. It was exhilarating. I still enjoy it and love when they push my head down and the penis gags me and stretches my throat
It does make u feel as your the one in control.

by **BeachBi** » Wed Feb 28, 2024 11:08 pm

As long as it's not forced or your not bullied into the act it shouldn't be a traumatic or damaging experience. I have no issues in my life at 68 because of my youthful experience .

by **BeachBi** » Thu Feb 29, 2024 12:25 pm

I had a similar background. Started giving oral to a friend ( 7th grade )and that led to 2-3 other boys that would meet me in an unfinished garden apartment construction project a few blocks from home. They didn't do me but that didn't bother me. Wasn't until several years later I started giving oral and receiving from my partners...

by **DukeYork** » Tue Oct 15, 2024 5:58 pm

I am very grateful to have this forum to read about and share experiences. This is very therapeutic and liberating for me. I had an uncle who molested some of my cousins. I think he may have molested me too but I may have buried those memories. I also had an older person (~ 19 years old) show me his penis and have me show mine to him. I was in the fourth grade. My older brother heard about this, told my parents and that guy was gone. I didn’t think anything of that at the time.

I thought it was as if he was showing me his thumb, and I showed him my thumb. No significance to it. I am now married with adult children and very happy. But I have always watched porn and masturbated a lot. My wife is post menapausal (sp?), and wants nothing to do with sex. I discovered bisexual and gay porn sites and got together with two men who serviced me and I touched their penises. I was underwhelmed during the experience thinking that it was as if I was touching his thumb.

And after each experience I was overcome with guilt. But then I reflected on the experiences and fantasized about them, longing to do something again. I have become obsessed with giving a blowjob. It occupies a lot of my waking thoughts. Is there something like AA for sex addicts? I don’t want to pay a fortune to a psychologist, and I don’t want this to be my most prevalent thought (which it is). I have no attraction to men other than the very strong desire to give oral sex. Very strong.

by **Snaga** » Tue Oct 22, 2024 2:45 am

There are two groups that I know of. Sexual Addicts Anonymous, and I think the other might be called Sexaholics Anonymous. It's been a while since I looked them up for members, but one of them might have online meetings.

by **Somersguy** » Thu Jun 19, 2025 2:01 pm

I've always enjoyed performing oral sex with women. It wasn't until I was 50 that I first sucked a cock. I'm now 71, and fully addicted to sucking men off. It used to be that I had to be very horny to suck a guy off, but now I consider it a courtesy. I do enjoy the semen, as I have developed a real taste for cum. measured in gallons. I'm sure the amount cum I have swallowed would be measured by the gallon. On the weekends, it is pretty common for me to suck off two to four men. I consider what I do as community service. I live at a very small town, and am well known as a cock sucker. I suspect I have had more cocks in my mouth than any other man or woman in the state.

Compulsion to perform oral sex. Warning: Might Offend

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