My dad molested me when I was a kid

Sorry Struggling621

I'm going to stretch the mod (Wise Monkey's) patience and suggest that you don't actually need to see a therapist. Or perhaps you do. But as the need is NOW, it's roughly as useful to wait six weeks to apply a splint to a broken leg as it is to wait for you to be able to pay for a therapist.

Which is a reprimand for myself too. Sorry I got distracted and made your broken leg wait. I've now marked this thread to tell me when something is posted here.

What are you studying and at what level ? In the same theme how long is it until you complete your course? And can you move into school provided accommondation ?

I take it the pressure of study and trying to find employment are currently immense ? Or have you got employment?

You say you have no evidence. Tough. The police will most certainly listen to you. And I'll point out that in the last decade there are churches who are paying out for abuse in the 70's. ..... (one must ask what makes them do so. On what evidence? Or is it simply hush money? ) Possibly there are convictions too (but I don't have the details)

I know it would be difficult to do, but can you simply ignore your father. From what you write he seems to feed, emotionally, uon your emotional pain. Therefore to ignore him means he starves. Can you block him from seeing your facebook ? Or block him from writing in it (I'm not a facebook fan )

Have you found the vent forum here? It's in the members corner.... If you simply need to vent that spot is good. Because it is rude to reply to someone's vent. If however you want to journal your thoughts and get a response, get a mod to set up a journal for you.

Other than that I could suggest you continue this thread.

Anyhow how can we help ?

Sorry for the length

Struggling621,

It's clear from your last post that things are pretty stressful for you right now. I am sorry you have to deal with so much: your sister's stealing, your father's coming back and not having a clue as to why you don't want him to be around.

I think you are handling your situation pretty well so far. I am glad you confronted your sister and I think it was a good thing to send your father this FB message. All that you said in that message sounds right to me. And I fully agree: he DOES owe you big time! I also understand that you are not in the place to even think about forgiving him and that's perfectly all right. I believe that forgiving somebody is a personal choice and that we are not obligated to forgive anyone. I am glad you validate yourself and your feelings. I think it's important to respect your own feelings.

WM

He came back again today to mow the lawn. I told him to leave because it's important that we establish clear boundaries. He said "let's talk" but I refused. He continued to get the mower ready so I put my foot on it and said he wasn't going to mow the lawn and needed to leave so he left. He kept saying "I don't know why you're so full of anger" and I said "why do you think?". I've decided I will not talk to anyone in my family as long as they deny it because I will not reinforce their delusions and I don't want relationships based on lies (except my mom, I will never shut her out). I wouldn't talk to my dad right now even if he did admit it because I need to focus on getting my own apartment and a better job and this gets in the way. I've cut my sisters off because they pretend to be nice but then tell me I'm a terrible person and ruin peoples lives by making up lies (which isn't true) and there's no way I can change their mind. I've decided if my mom brings it up I'll tell her that I realize it's a very difficult subject for her and it's not her fault and she can be with him if that makes her happy because I love her and want her to be happy. I will also ask her to not put me down about this subject or tell me I'm crazy or evil because that hurts my feelings. I'm considering moving out today or tomorrow because I know I won't be able to kick my dad out if my mom's around because she'll tell him he can stay. God, I hate my family.

I think you are handling this stressful situation really well. Good luck with moving out!

WM