Looking for opinions on a weird 2 years

hi all, I've just joined.

I've just got out of a long term, quite abusive relationship. It was a meeting of two cluster B types and very dramatic at times.

I (male) was sexually abused in my teenage years which I'd repressed for a long time. Both my parents are narcissists, which I have eventually realised, through years of therapy, has led to BPD traits.

The biggest problem I had in the relationship I just left was with the ambiguous sexual language she would say. It often came out of the blue, and I would react badly as it was never about us as a couple, but about a fantasy (presumably with others), intentions in the future (that I wasn't part of) or sometimes more obvious innuendo.

I brought it up a lot, and the response was "That's not me, I wouldn't say something like that"

I was reading this post from 2011 about HPD and sexual abuse, and a lot of it I recognise in my ex partner.
antisocial-personality/topic72580.html#p589431

A book reviewer of Slater, A. C., Transforming trauma - A guide to understanding and treating adult survivors of child sexual abuse) wrote:

Abusers are masters of introjecting their sick thought patterns into the victim's mind, and any help at recovery must begin with teasing out that subtle "other voice" -- so subtle, the victim might not even recognize that he/she has heard it ever since the abuse.

Many of the bullet list in that post match my ex, and there was intense loyalty to her father. In a family environment he had said that "the best thing about school girls is their short skirts". He didn't have dementia.

As I am still processing it all, I have been wondering, if a father had been sexually suggestive with language and innuendo during the teenage years (emotional incest it's called), would this possibly manifest itself later in life with the daughter punishing the father via the partner?

I am not trying to change anything, or her, just understand what I was going through.

Absolutely. You gave only one example but from that, yep very inappropriate fathering, and that can screw up the child's sexual relationships, even though what that person does, is against all their normal behaviour.