What do I call what my stepsister and I did?

This is my first post. I read the rules, but I have issues with reading due to dyslexia so please let me know if I'm breaking any rules.

For context I am a 33-year-old trans man, so while this was going on everybody, myself included thought that I was a girl.

I've known I've had cpstd for other reasons for years now, but recently I have begun to question things that happened in my childhood. I have an older step sister. She is 3 years older than me, but she also has certain cognitive disabilities. She has a stable job and is starting a family and all that, but I always felt like mentally we were about the same age growing up. We all moved into the same house together when I was about 6 years old. I can't remember exactly when things started but maybe a year or so after that she started initiating these 'games'. We would pretend to be fictional characters but then we would start making out and rub against each other in inappropriate ways. Sometimes she would initiate these games, and sometimes I would. It never felt coerced, but like kids that found that playing with fire was fun. We stopped after a couple of years, I guess around the time she started puberty. Looking back I definitely suspect my stepdad, her dad, of sexually abusing her. I'm not in contact with my stepdad at all for about a decade now and I barely talk to my step sister these days but generally we have a good relationship. I do not want to bring this up to her and open old wounds, especially if she's not ready to deal with them. I just want to know what you all think about my experience. It was definitely inappropriate, but does it cross the line to abuse? I definitely feel like I lay the blame squarely on my step dad's shoulders. He may not have sexually assaulted me, but he was definitely a piece of $#%^ to me in other ways. Any insight would be appreciated. Thank you all so much.

See this post was in June, so since no one has responded, I’ll give it a crack (been a while sense I’ve posted here).

I think it’s important what you think and feel about your experience, and since you seem to place blame on your Step-Dad, it appears that you have some negative thoughts/emotions about it. Manipulation need not be coercive to be harmful, and a child may not know she is doing harm or being manipulative, and as such may bear little- if any- blame.

Suppose a 6/7 year-old(s) (child A) initiates genital exploration/play with a 3 year-old (child B), and which then escalates to oral-sex, and other sexual activity. What does the Law call that? What does psychology call that? What do you call that?

I know what I call it because it happened to me, and I relate that to give context to how I digest what you describe- the ages are different, but still, we are talking about children… and I assume without her initiation, at that age (7), such games would likely have never occurred to you.

For me, Child A manipulated and molested Child B, who did not initiate the behavior and certainly had no ability to truly consent. This does NOT make Child A an abuser because she was mimicking, in her own way, a learned behavior. Blame goes to the Adult(s) who taught the behavior because the responsibility lies with the source, not the instrument- even more so with children. And in any event, Child B has got to deal with the impact of that abuse, and perhaps, Child A does too.

So that’s my perspective- others likely think differently, but in any case I hope you are able to get some clarity. Hope it helps.