If you have been abused - please read this

I am new to this forum, and I was shocked to the extent of the abuse certain people had, and managed to survive and cope, and didn't take the easy way out. You are the bravest people I've had the chance to meet!
I've had brushes with abuse, fortunately I wasn't abused myself, at least not sexually.
But here is what I have to say to anyone who was abused even slightly.

1) It is never your fault, because before the age of consent you cannot give informed consent (which means "i know enough about it to make a well judged decision"), and even if you do, it still doesn't count because you were a minor. It is the adult's duty to set boundaries, and make the decision what is good and bad in the situation. And if he/she fails to do that it is always his/her fault.

2) What you feel is real and is important. Never let anyone else tell you otherwise. If you feel anger, or hate, or grief - those emotions are your natural responses, and do not bury them inside. Your emotions count, and they are another voice that make you alive.

3) You are not who you are doomed to be. There are things we cannot control, as the things that happened to us. But you are who you decide to be. You cannot change the past, but you can change what you make of it. Will you let it control you or will you be the master over it?

4) You can fully heal and lead a normal happy life. This is the most important thing of all. Yes, it is possible! Things can get better for you, but you have to take the first step. The only way to stop the past haunt you is to work on it, to work on yourself, and to work it through. it is close to impossible to work it out by yourself. The best way to go is with a therapist. I found that therapy + meditation was the best way to go for me, and for several other people I know.
What doesn't work and never has worked is burying those things inside you and hope they go away. Or trying to escape them by ignoring them, and pretend they didn't happen, or "just moving on".
They just end up deeper inside you and continue to influence you, bringing more pain in your life, but life continues and new experiences pile up on top and now it is even harder to work it out. The older you are - the harder it is to work with it.
I cannot stress this enough - if bad stuff happened to you - they only way you can break free is to work through it and work on yourself. Reclaim the better version of yourself!

5) My personal choice is not to have kids before solving all (or at least my main) issues, because I do not want to pass on my traumas to them, as it would inevitably happen. Kids look up to the parents. If parents are anxious, depressive, grieved - you tend to go to the extremes on your kids. Oftentimes when trying to protect them from one thing one causes the extreme opposite.
Kids learn by example, they mimick what their parents are. So if you do not want to create a more messed up version of yourself - get help now, find a therapist and get to work. There is light at the end of the tunnel, but it takes time, will, and effort to achieve.

You are important, you are loved, you are real!