Advice Please

I'm a 17 year old male that lives in Canada. I frequently undergo thoughts about suicide quite commonly and I lack confidence in life. It always seems as though life is against me in some ways (i.e I'm not as popular as the other people) and I can't seem to be as "lucky" as the people I know. I'm single, I'm not exactly tall (5 foot 6) but this shouldn't have anything to do with not being popular right? I'm an extremely friendly guy but it seems no one realizes this and I've recently decided to abandon being friendly at all. I'd avoid helping people the way I normally would do and if they don't notice, I might lead them the wrong route and waste their time. These are the times when I realize I have two sides to myself. A friendlier one who's there because of the friends I can't leave behind, and a dark version of me.

Well anyway, I have thoughts about suicide and most importantly, I always wanted to be a hero, I wanted to be noticed somehow and if there's a situation where I can claim it, I would. I don't seem to care if I die (in fact I think dying is good in order to claim heroism). What should I do?

Thanks everyone.

Being a teenager is not easy and a lot of things that are very important for teenagers are practically of little or no importance later in life. You haven't mentioned, but I assume that you are currently at high school? Later in life, you'll discover that the world is much larger, and unless you work for public relations being popular won't be that important. Other things, like your job and
your relationships with the few people that you'll choose in your personal life, will be your real priority. You'll practically get to choose lots of things and do much more things in your own terms.
Communication skills in your adult life will also be important, but they are very different to the notion of being popular among the rest of the teenagers, and can be developed to a good extent.

Building self esteem is very useful, so start reading how to do it and put the things you read into practice. Buy a good book on self esteem issues.

In short, you'll be fine. As for the suicide thoughts, many people get these. If you think that you might really hurt yourself or if
you have attempted suicide in the past, then it is important to talk to a councellor/psychologist maybe you have some form of depression; it's useful to know if there's something wrong so that you can deal with it and protect yourself.

Since you are attracted to the idea to do things recognisable by people, an idea is to offer volunteer service in your free time.
Or join the army. Think about these or other possibilities that would suit you the best.

Also, I don't think that there's anything wrong with your height, I think it's fine. But if it bothers you a lot there are procedures that can give you up to 10 centimeters of height (they are very safe cosmetic procedures that can been done in europe once you are adult).

I hope that this helps.

I like what somebody wrote.

I've always had a daydream of being a hero. It's probably a pretty normal thought when you are a teenager. It is also normal to have thoughts of suicide from time to time. It's when the thoughts are constant day after day for two weeks or more that there is a problem.

All people want to have an idenity, or a title. When we are young, we have not had enough life experiences to get good at something or noted for something. I was very popular in high school--perhaps one of the most popular guys, but I had self esteem issues and later almost died of alcoholism. So I had the popularity, but my insides were sick. Popularity does not mean much.

I would suggest you try to be you. Look at yourself. What do you like to do? What makes you happy? Try to develop your interests. And most of all pat yourself on the back for every positive thing you do. It is good you shared on this forum. It takes courage to ask for help?
Good Luck,
Jim s

I must say that I've had thoughts of suicide at weeks at a time, even for the whole year. It felt so painful. By the way this post is almost identical to the post I just wrote just now under the name "Sadguy", with a very similar title. I'm sorry I wrote another post just like it but because i forgot the username (not the password) for this post I wrote.. but now that I've found it, I've already received answers, which I'm very grateful for. Thank you.

and by the way skill is the same person who wrote swift and sadguy messages... that was a typo there.. my bad