Can it boil down to "acceptance?"

Kayaking taught me the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence....summed up by Dr. George Sheehan.

"Self-esteem and self-confidence are two different things. The self-esteem earned when setting my goals, training to achieve those goals has resulted is the best gift to self I could have ever purchased. I know what is within me and what I am capable of in all regards in life. Self-confidence is what I gained by accomplishing the goals, and the applause and acceptance of others took me by surprise but it was a welcome element."

after reading your post I asked myself: why do people compare themselves to others?

but, on the other way, why shouldn’t they? (maybe it can be seen as “motivation”)

what do you think about this?

I have had a low self-esteem since I can remember. My mother was over-protective of me (God rest her soul) and she had issues of her own. I never interacted with my peers, except in school.

But a lot of them did not like me. They could spot a loser, so they, like a bunch of chickens pecking a sick chicken, chose me to be the scapegoat. Yes, I had a couple friends, but most would treat me like I had cooties. Getting fat did not help. But at least I felt some affection in Grade school, by the time I was in High School, everyone except a few hated my guts. They would avoid me, and we accidentally touched, they would say "eww, God!!"

I ended up quitting, losing weight, (got down to 150 LBS!!) and my self esteem improved. But things did not work out, so my self esteem fell, and my weight went up.

Why do we compare ourselves to others?? Because other people compare us to others!! If we don't measure up in their eyes, then you believe you are worthless.

I knew from the moment I quit trying to do homework in High School and skipping classes because I felt so unwanted, I knew my future was going to be bleak. And if i had the courage, I'd be dead right now.

But instead I sought mental help, and I am able to cope better. Now I am my own worst critic. Some people will be nice to me and say nice things, but I always thing "They are just saying that"

Because of circumstances beyond my control (it happened as soon as I was conceived) I'll never have a "normal life"
example: Get married, have kids, have my own home, you know, the American Dream.

I was destined to not have those things, and I have accepted it.

But I will try my best to serve out my sentence (life) on this earth the best I can But I cannot wait to die, but I want it to be quick, painless (in my sleep, preferably)

(Death does not scare me, it's getting there that does!!)

But I don't want to leave my pets, and my elderly father and diabled brother to fend for themselves.