need help

Booze, drugs, eating, drinking, sex, stealing, etc...that's not "the problem" - that's the symptom of the problem.

Working the 12-step program not to beat the symptoms, but to cure the issue that you lack identity and self-acceptance/accountability/respnosibliity/discipline...that will work.

It did for me 12 years ago.

I was so glad booze finally did get hold of me, it was the one thing I couldn't deny "I had a problem with". Up till then - everybody and everything else was to blame and to fault for "my life being like it was".

No matter where you go, there you are.