self hate is a bitch....

for real... i won't lie. you know.... back when i was a kid, i decided for whatever reason to stop eating food where i throw my food away and stop eating it. i used to be chunky as ###$ then around the time when my hormones kick in, i got so damn skinny to the point where i was like thin thin thin. at one point at 11 or 12 or so, i was making myself throw up i guess cause my dad had his little ulcer thing going so i decided to regurgitate my food where i'd eat some goldfish crackers then make myself throw up. i look at myself now, i started eating again normally like where i was 15 and $#%^, i'm still just as skinny as i was when i wasn't eating. i tried to go to the gym but me having little motivation or drive and a loss of interest, i stop altogether with that $#%^. i also think my lack of eating is responsible for my out of wack hormones. to me, i think my hormones ain't working right cause my hair takes a long time to grow and some other $#%^ i feel like not getting into.

you know.. that alongside some other $#%^ i've done and everything else...

I think that the slow hair growth could be simply down to your diet. Hair is made of protein. So, if you aren't eating too much protein, then obviously your hair won't grow as fast. I recently lost an extraordinary amount of weight in just a few weeks (approx. 35 pounds) and my body just shut down: My hands became cut easily due to a lack of cholesterol in my skin cell-walls (these wounds are taking ages to heal); I began feeling the cold more; my bum virtually vanished (the bum is just a huge store of fat); and my bones became weak.

It's ironic but I think we'd be better off without this complex brain.

However, there may be a positive in all of these things we are going through. The positive is that we are making these 'mistakes' now with the hope that we will never make them again in the future. i.e. you have to err, so that you can learn.

Chucky wrote:I think that the slow hair growth could be simply down to your diet. Hair is made of protein. So, if you aren't eating too much protein, then obviously your hair won't grow as fast. I recently lost an extraordinary amount of weight in just a few weeks (approx. 35 pounds) and my body just shut down: My hands became cut easily due to a lack of cholesterol in my skin cell-walls (these wounds are taking ages to heal); I began feeling the cold more; my bum virtually vanished (the bum is just a huge store of fat); and my bones became weak.

It's ironic but I think we'd be better off without this complex brain.

However, there may be a positive in all of these things we are going through. The positive is that we are making these 'mistakes' now with the hope that we will never make them again in the future. i.e. you have to err, so that you can learn.

if you don't mind me asking, how you lose all that weight???

I don't want to say because we don't promote any form of eating disorders here. Sorry - I hope you understand.

Take care,
Kevin.