I'm not so bad looking!

One thing that I notice as your self esteem improves, is that you realise that I'm not that bad looking. I'm not saying I'm Brad Pitt, but hey, Brad Pitt not Brad Pitt anymore.

Silent wrote:One thing that I notice as your self esteem improves, is that you realise that I'm not that bad looking. I'm not saying I'm Brad Pitt, but hey, Brad Pitt not Brad Pitt anymore.

How true! How one sees one's self is a subjective experience. When we feel better about ourselves, we tend to stand up straighter, smile more, and radiate inner peace. This goes a long ways in improving our physical appearance, too.

Silent -

A lot of folks get in ruts about physical appearance, especially with low-self esteem; in fact they can lose total interest. Sounds like you're on the right track. Curious how you achieved this healthy 'inner being'. Good work!

darkmeat wrote:Curious how you achieved this healthy 'inner being'?

Good question. A bit of background about myself. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, which I diagnose myself with about 4 months ago. So low-self esteem is only part of my problem.

I guess you just have to stand back and look at yourself objectively. I stand in front of full length mirror, a few meters back (never look at your self in the mirror close up, none of use look great closeup) when dress in nice clothes, hair done. And look at myself and simile. I think I have got a nice. I lucky in one sense that I'm keen cyclist. So that keeps me at weight ideal. I'm 178cm (5'10") 73kg (161 pounds). Cycling also gives you great legs and butt! Every muscle way define.

I have lately put more effort in my appearance. Nice clothes, product in the hair and do something about the uni-brow. This might all be materialistic, but it gives me more self-confidants.

This improvement in my self-confident help me recently when I got courageous ask out a women for the first time which I have be talking about in the AvPD sub forum. In the past I just thought that women wasn't interested in me because I'm no good looking. As it turns out she has a boyfriend, but still temped to ask if she find me attractive. Maybe a bad I idea, what do guys think?

But like I said, I have AvPD, so low self esteem is just part of my problem. But I hope this helps.

Silent -

Cycling is good exercise I suppose; but is this an activity you enjoy alone? I think with a group or another person would be more enjoyable. I personally visit the gym quite often and find it better to work upper body strength. That's neither her nor there, just what I prefer. I find cycling a very 'solo' activity, but again that's great if you find it relaxing.

Do you find yourself totally socially inept or just personally unappealing to others?

I think "great butt" and legs are the least of your concerns:)

darkmeat wrote:Silent -

Cycling is good exercise I suppose; but is this an activity you enjoy alone? I think with a group or another person would be more enjoyable. I personally visit the gym quite often and find it better to work upper body strength. That's neither her nor there, just what I prefer. I find cycling a very 'solo' activity, but again that's great if you find it relaxing.

I have though of going to gym to do a pilates (spelling?) program, core strength is said help improve your power on bike. Cycling doesn't have to be solo. Riding with others, ie Group riding, is the best part of cycling for some people. Mind you, I haven't done much because of mine AvPD. Of course cycle racing is not done alone.

darkmeat wrote:Do you find yourself totally socially inept or just personally unappealing to others?

That a tough question. I would have to say I feel both at times.

darkmeat wrote:I think "great butt" and legs are the least of your concerns:)

Tell me about it.

if your self esteem is very low as is mine. Do you think that woman that can see right through that even if you put on a good front? That being said. Do you think if you had two men(exact duplicates physically), one with a good self esteem and one with a poor self esteem. That women would be more attracted to the man with the better self esteem. Hope that made sense.

Nate

wise25663 wrote:if your self esteem is very low as is mine. Do you think that woman that can see right through that even if you put on a good front? That being said. Do you think if you had two men(exact duplicates physically), one with a good self esteem and one with a poor self esteem. That women would be more attracted to the man with the better self esteem. Hope that made sense.Nate

Yes, I've determined many years ago, low self-esteem is pretty obvious and easy to spot, at least from my own experience. I think most are looking for extroverted confident (men or women) with strong self-esteem.

On the other hand I'm inclined to think 2 introverts or 2 extroverts are better in a relationship - not mixing and matching; maybe I'm wrong.