Hurting and Traumatised

Hi, I’ve got a lot on my chest.
For those who haven’t read my last post, my ex girlfriend cheated on me and she lied and hurt me so badly and she was a narcissist towards me, abusing me and lying to me and breaking my heart and trust. It’s me that has to live with the pain she inflicted on me. I have mild autism and I feel and overthink things personally and I know I should man up and everything but she’s hurt me so badly.
It’s her that destroys me and gets away with it and it’s not ok. I’ve lost my self esteem because of her and she smirked at my pain and lied to me. I’ve been so negative with myself and hurt myself as a result and now I feel like I’m at a low point. Like I’ve forgotten myself and everything I stand for.
I’m hurting so badly right now. Please someone talk to me and help me

Hi,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I know it's easier said than done, but be strong. You got this! I know you probably feel anger and want to get back at her and make her feel the pain she caused you, but that would only make you a bad person, and the last thing you would want is that. Yes, she hurt you and she's just horrible! But if she turns you into a bad person as she is, she'd really taken over you. Don't let her. Feel the pain. Cry yourself out, but figure out a way to get up again.

Wish you well!