Imprisoned by Past Memories

Found a good article in the rough on Medium with this very title: Imprisoned by Past Memories. Very helpful for self esteem issues and how to overcome past defeating memories. Before you end your day, check it out. It's really, really, really goood!

For a long time, I was imprisoned by my past negative memories. I decided the only way to set myself free was to create new positive memories. Years of creating positive moments ended up filling my head, and the negative memories no longer imprison me.

Instead of wasting my time thinking of negative memories, I utilize my time experiencing good ones.

No, it's not that simple. It can be if your bad memories are some nonsense and you grew up in healthy environment, but if you're traumatized, it means your nervous system and brains work differently than someone's without trauma. It's not about your attitude if you can't get over something, if that something changed your neurology.

In more complex trauma we actually can decide to not feel bad feelings when they come. It's because of that different neurology. Some parts of brains are active during daily functions and some hold trauma, and there's a wall between them. The part of the mind that is in charge of daily functions can have ability to just decide to be happy, and happy it will be. But when you push away normal feelings like that, you will find them before you. Or the walls inside your mind, that shouldn't be there, will grow higher and higher.

People are supposed to have all feelings. Also feel scared, sad and angry. That's part of being human and that is also how you can defend yourself, tell the difference between healthy relationship and traumatizing one etc. There's a reason why we feel pain, physiological and psychological, and that is to tell when we are in danger. With people who are traumatized that doesn't work like it should. We feel danger when there isn't any, and are unable to see it when it's there. Keep on being positive won't change that. Letting go won't either. They can in fact make it way worse.

Problem is, that people with early childhood traumas, like people with dissociation disorders, won't usually understand they are traumatized. That's because they don't necessarily feel those bad feelings same way than in more simple trauma like PTSD. They may not be aware of their condition, because they are not aware what happened to them, and they can be very drawn to easy solution like that. Why? The reason is simple. "Letting go" and "staying positive" IS dissociation. It can be helpful to people who are unable to dissociate, that's when you can try to learn how to dissociate. But some people dissociate all the time, to the point it is their disorder, and obviously more dissociation won't help them, but vise versa.

Personally I hate all positivity stuff. That's when you know that's a person who will never understand how life is like, when your neurology is messed up, and that isn't a choice I made.

Floralie wrote:No, it's not that simple. It can be if your bad memories are some nonsense and you grew up in healthy environment, but if you're traumatized, it means your nervous system and brains work differently than someone's without trauma.

I have lots of bad memories. I grew up in a very abusive home. My childhood was unhealthy in every way. My bad memories are not some "nonsense". My nervous system and brain work very differently than most people, this is why no therapist or psych drug has been able to help me. I can't pop a pill and wish it all away.

I learned to help myself instead of relying on therapists and medications. I couldn't trust anyone, so I learned to trust myself. That is called empowerment -- something we all need -- especially if we are trauma victims. Everyday I empower myself to get out of bed and stop complaining about my problems and stop disabling myself with my horrible past.

I was a prisoner of my past memories for a long time. But not anymore. That is where my positivity helps me. I am a happy person despite all the horrible things that have happened to me. Yes, it is possible to be happy and suffer from trauma. And I am proof of that. No one and nothing will ever put me back in the horrible prison I was once in.

I just had a healthy conversation with my sister about our bad memories, especially our bad childhood memories and trauma.

We both agree that positivity is so important in order to get out of the imprisonment some people put themselves in. It was only through courage, self-love, and empowerment did we survive our childhood and life trauma.

Luckily, my self-love and positivity helped me through the bad in my life. I find it terribly sad when people only see the negative. Constant negativity, my friends, lead to depression -- something I choose to never be.

I have chosen a life of happiness, love, and generosity. The world, nor the negative people in it, will change the loving person that I am and always will be.