improving myself

I'll start from describing myself so that you can get a slight idea of who I am. I am a 28 years old gay man, smart, intelligent, good looking but with a tormented soul. I have self-image issues and although it's hard for me to admit it…also a low self-esteem. I know that no one can help me but myself, but I wanted to share with you some thoughts that are going on in my mind since ever and that I feel too embarrassed to share them with other people around me.

I feel like even today when I see a good-looking man I'm fixated on him. Sort of an obsession to either look like him or to have sex with him. Being with him will presumably feel in the void and looking like him will increase my low self-esteem by looking more attractive. Now, obviously that is a false and 'dangerous' presumption and I'm totally aware of it but, that is what is going on in my head. That sort of feeling is driving me crazy sometimes because I feel I'm possessed by inner demons. This masculinity that I am so attracted to is both very appealing and yet intimidating for me. Can I ever get out of this loop? Can I ever reach to the point when I'm not "threatened" being around very attractive men, without the need to be with them and feeling so insecure? I accept my sexual orientation and I enjoy it but, it feels that I am constantly on the hunt for someone that will make me feel happy and relaxed and, this had never happened and probably never will so long as I am on this track. What can I do to combat these feelings? What can I do to get rid of this obsession? Can anyone relate to it?

I think that many of us across the spectrum can relate to this. For me, low self esteem was compensated for by developing a large ego. This didn't help me in a positive 'self-image' quest at all.
I'm not too concerned with dignity as I feel that dignity is a man-made quality and can lead to vanity.
It is important not to take myself too seriously and to be able to laugh at myself and forgive myself any perceived transgressions. It is one day at a time.
Best of luck to you.