Still Struggling With SE at age 45

I have such a strange situation. I guess I'm expecting like others, to have "gotten over it" by a certain age. While doing things like going to 12 step groups has helped a lot over time, circumstances cause me to be around bully figures over low income, and being exposed to felons in poor housing has really set me back. I'm allowing myself to blame me, when it's other's behaviors that are just their issue, it's how they are. It's not about me. But I still feel kind of "fragile" at this age is really a struggle.

I am not trying to make less of your situation, but I just want to share that I have low self-esteem at age 43. I just can't help it. So just see this as knowing you are not the only one feeling like this.